Comments on: Blaming Others for Our Shortcomings

By: Monika

Monika — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 14:12:42 +0000

Rick,
Sounds like you both have alot on your plate. As a Mom I often have to catch myself, especially when I am stressed, before I blow-up…I am a work in progress though. Usually not brought on as the article says by a certain person or thing, but more by the bottled up frustrations, disappointment and feelings of being overwhelmed. Prayer has been my best tool…also my husband and I are reading The Five Love Languages together, and through it I discovered some of the frustration is “I don’t even know me” which makes it almost impossible for my husband to “love” me how I recieve it.
Because you and your wife have such a full plate, I would be very suprised if it wasn’t stress, compounded by frustration, and feeling overwhelmed…I will pray for the both of you, and would like to suggest seeking some support, and wisdom from others that have had a similar situation, how they met the challenges and waded through.

By: Agbenyi

Agbenyi — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:56:20 +0000

I grew up with this anger problem, after i gave my life to Christ some 11yrs back, i realized through the word of God that, i can deal with this anger problem. so, i made up mind to fight it before it stop me… Anytime i discovered that i am angry, i just count to ten or say ‘thank you Jesus’ softly or simply walk away, this has really help me greatly.

I have been married for close to 3yrs now, although i get mad at my wife once in a while. she has been very understanding, she doesn’t act back at me when i am mad with her but allow the anger to cool down then she will bring up the issue later analysis and take corrective. By this, we are both able to see our faults, apologize to each other and adjust accordingly, likewise i have learnt that, anytime she is angry, i just allow her to blow-hot and cool down before dealing with the issue later.
our Relationship is growing and we are getting angry at each other LESS, God has taught us how to deal with this marriage killer called anger and we are both happy even though we are not perfect yet, i know that god is taking us on a journey.

There are many other detailed activities that we carry-out that has helped us that i might not be able to put down here, but can send an article later if you so permit.

Agbenyi S. Agbenyi

Abuja-Nigeria,
West Africa.

God Bless You !

By: Rick

Rick — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:17:37 +0000

We have been married for 23 years and we have a daughter that is 21.
Belinda (daughter) has mitochondrial disease to the point to where she depends 100 on others for everything. TO make a long story short…there is a lot of stress between us as we are the caregivers for Belinda. We do have a nurse that has started to help us a lot but…. my wife has out burst of anger at me ( I guess from the stress) we try and talk but she makes Belinda #1 PRIORITY and she (belinda )needs help but… we need each other as well. Got any ideas on how to manage stress and relax…and just not get so angry at each other.

By: f28j

f28j — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 19:49:58 +0000

Hi Erin,
I can honestly say that i feel your hurt just by reading your words. I walked a similar path once.I don’t have any instant “pick-me-up” solution, but just felt led to encourage you to stay the course and keep looking to God. He will keep revealing His truth to you and comforting you as only He(God) can. For we are more than conquerors in all situations through Jesus Christ.This means that even before we confront whatever challenges life has to offer,the contest has already been decided in our favour.
Remember that no matter how long the night may seem,the morning always comes. It shall be well.
You are a woman of great strength and i pray the Lord to continue to strengthen you in Jesus’ Name.
Just know that there’s someone out there praying for you.
It is well with you.

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:38:05 +0000

I have to say, too, that it’s hurtful to be the one blamed. I’ve been blamed for the problems in my marriage for so long that I recently realized that I believed it. I started crying out to God to change my personality because I didn’t like who I was. I told the Lord that I know He doesn’t make mistakes, but I’m not compatible with my husband, so I must be made wrong. Finally, after months of feeling guilty for my personality and hating who I was, God revealed His Truth to me. He made me the way I am for a specific reason. He loves me that way I am, and I am not a bad person. Now I’m trying to learn how to walk the line between compromising the things that cause conflict, and being secure in who I am through Christ. I’m still blamed for nearly every problem in our marriage. It’s still hard, and it still hurts.

By: Jean B. Rainville Jr.

Jean B. Rainville Jr. — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:58:50 +0000

Dear Gary, I’ve been involved in “Anger Managment” at the Grand Rapids Vet Clinic for a few
years, I’d say maybe going on 3 years. A Chaplain as been doing this in nearly 20 years. I must say it’s helping me a great deal.