Comments on: Facebook proving to be bad for your marriage!

By: Brien

Brien — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:14:09 +0000

My wife posted a message on facebook saying went from being married to its complicated. We both have agreed to go to Marriage Counseling. She says she wants things to improve. I feel the same way. I still have problems with her leaving and staying with her mother. I am still concerned about the posting of went from being married to its complicated. Please advise me on what to do to get over posting

By: veryhurt

veryhurt — Wed, 12 May 2010 19:39:12 +0000

My wife of 17 months had an emotional sexual relationship with a old high school boyfriend on FaceBook. Yes, we were going through some difficulties, however, this just made everything more difficult to repair. I saw the entire conversation they had and it was shocking how it started so innocently and quickly morphed into sending photos and commenting on past sexual escapades to a desire to meet and rekindle what was done over 20 years ago. The other man even commented that if his wife and kids or me ever saw what was being written that they both would be in big trouble. He later requested to my wife that they move the conversation to his private e-mail so that no one would find out. When I confronted my wife, she said then and still feels now that nothing happened and that it was all done jokingly. Yeah, right. Facebook is extremely dangerous! Husbands and wives beware!

By: robertanthony87

robertanthony87 — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 20:36:26 +0000

A search on opposite sex friendships brought this post to my attention among a few others.I have found this to be very true. Facebook has been a very devisive tool used by the enemy in my marriage.Granted, it is always a spouses choice. But most certainly, it is an awful distraction for someone who is already hurting in their lives. Keeps them from the appropriate relationships they should be maintaining. Their relationship with God, with the spouse, and with their children.In the end, it would seem they will end up severly regretting their losses…at which point in many cases it will be too late.My wife continues to maintain many oppoosite sex friendships through her Facebook page. Many of them I do not approve of. Yet in spite of this, she continues on. In her own admission it is a stubborness against me that she does it.Sad.Recently, as my wife refuses to seek counsel or help to deal with many of her emotional issues (and I have been at her insistence) I have reached the point of considering leaving her. However, the children, for now, keep me attached. I do not know how much longer I can weather the storm.

By: Michael Smalley

Michael Smalley — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 20:57:58 +0000

I honestly have no idea what happened….we will try to figure it out. Thanks for the heads up.

By: curtis lowe

curtis lowe — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 20:37:07 +0000

What happened to all the old postings? Since this has been reposted, all the old comments are no longer accessible. I would like to review them. Where are they concerning the facebook/marriage article?

By: Michael Smalley

Michael Smalley — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:57:58 +0000

I honestly have no idea what happened….we will try to figure it out. Thanks for the heads up.

By: curtis lowe

curtis lowe — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:37:07 +0000

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:09:00 +0000

Divorce is starting to become the talk of the crowd nowadays. For me, I am not against it because if the couple know for a fact that their relationship is getting nowhere, it will be beneficial to both sides that they should part ways. But, if kids are involved, a little care must be taken into consideration. Like for example, giving your kids planners/organizers (like this one that I recommend from co-parenting-manager – http://4help.to/children) as it is one helpful tool to help your kids deal with the situation.

By: Curtis Lowe

Curtis Lowe — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 14:14:26 +0000

I originally got on MySpace and Facebook to keep an eye on my kids. To my disappointment, I found out my wife was having an emotional affair with a co-worker young enough to be one of our children. I saw the signs and investigated further. MySpace played a HUGE role in my wife's downfall. I am thankful that the Lord allowed me to catch this before it became sexual, which is exactly where it was headed. Just so you know, before that, I considered my wife to be the most spiritually strong and knowledgeable person I knew! Her knowledge of scripture is phenomenal. I would have put her up against any minister any day, including Billy Graham. She/we have even counseled other couples in marriage counseling and been successful in saving others' marriages. I never imagined mine would be one in peril. If I had ever thought that either one of us would have fallen in that area, I would have said me…never my wife of 26 years. But it happened. I have BEGGED her for both of us to get off MS and FB and a counselor agreed. But she won't do it. She makes excuses as to why "I" need to stay on. I even deleted my FB account once hoping she would do the same. When it became evident she would not, I had no choice but to open mine back up to keep an eye on her. We now have an agreement that we will not accept a friend request from the opposite sex unless that person becomes BOTH of our friends. I enjoy FB and have become addicted to playing Texas HoldEm, in a fun way only. But I would give it all up in a heartbeat if I could convince my wife to do the same.

By: Jerry Sinclair

Jerry Sinclair — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:04:26 +0000

Evie, I could not have said it better myself.

By: Evie

Evie — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:12:36 +0000

There is a tendency for people to be "friends" with anybody who requests it, and there are people who are trying to make romantic connections, or just plain be inappropriate, so you need to be careful about who you select to be your friends. If someone is befriending you on facebook that you don't know and is being flirtatious in their comments, I think it best to not accept that person as a friend. Also, so many people come out of the woodwork including old flames, girlfriends/boyfriends, that it can awaken an unhealthy curiosity about someone that you would otherwise not think about. My husband and I have both male and female friends on facebook, but we have to trust that those relationships that we are maintaining are within healthy boundaries.

By: Michael Smalley

Michael Smalley — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 08:57:40 +0000

Great words Ben, and I totally agree. Anything can be taken out of balance or abused. They key is making your spouse and kids the priority in life!

By: Ben McEntire

Ben McEntire — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:32:07 +0000

We use face book, I have it on my Ipod, and am a great fan of it.. just like with anything else, excess is damaging to any relationship you have, could be spouse, work, kids, and even ministry.. The same can be said for many things such as a persons hobby, overworking,these can be taxing and taking a toll. It is best to balance out what you love to do, with who you love.. include them instead of excluding them…

By: Jerry Sinclair

Jerry Sinclair — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:22:14 +0000

jason,

although some of the data seems a little suspicious the overall fact remains. The rules we should follow in maintaining a healthy and long-lasting marriage are blurred more and more by a post-modern culture that sees nothing wrong with "pleaseing self" or "there's no harm in it" attitude. your statement about the UK's attitude about divorce is true and our factbook culture along with other influences continue to make the problem worse…not better.

Tools like Facebook have many qualities. Unfortunately, man has fallen into a trap laid by the evil one to misuse a powerful communication tool.

Jerry Sinclair, Marriage Missionary…to those who have abused the internet & other s*xual sin

By: K Jason Krafsky

K Jason Krafsky — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:57:47 +0000

Michael – thanks for posting the story. Too many couples are inflicting unnecessary harm on their marriages through a lack of boundaries, a lack of integrity, and/or a lack of common sense.

This is why Kelli and I have written articles (and a book due out in February 2010) on the topic.

My concern on the story of the "20% of divorces cite Facebook" is because it has been so oft cited, it is on the verge of becoming an urban myth like the "half of all marriages end in divorce" myth. It is important to keep in mind that this stat originates from:

(1) a single law firm/company that specializes in divorces

(2) it is an online divorce company so the type of clientele is different than the mainstream

(3) the UK which holds a lower public opinion on marriage then the States.

Thanks for keeping up with the culture my friend!

By: Tom Morgan

Tom Morgan — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:52:35 +0000

Some of the games that I play on Facebook (i.e. FarmVille, Scrabble) are fun and can take up a lot of my time.