Then, her twin sister, Josefin, came to her and persuaded her not to file the papers while she was so emotional. She urged Elin to think of the children and let the papers sit until she could make the decision rationally, rather than out of anger. Then, when Tiger finally came to Elin to apologize, it was Josefin who insisted that she could repair her marriage if she wanted to.

Read More: Tiger Has His Sister-In-Law To Thank For His Marriage! | PerezHilton.com http://perezhilton.com/2010-03-11-tiger-has-his-sister-in-law-to-thank-for-his-marriage#ixzz0hw2dnpiB
Celebrity Juice, Not from Concentrate

Why was this post important? Because every marriage needs a Josefin.  Whether this post is true or not, does not matter to me.  Because  the point is true, we all need someone in our lives that encourages us to stay together whether that be for the kids, our own lives, or something else.  Too many marriages end in divorce when they do not need to end in divorce.  Sometimes we need to suck it up and hang in there, patiently waiting for God to change our spouse’s heart.

If we bail too quickly, we run the risk of missing out on a miracle or our spouse’s change of heart.  What’s the rush? Slow down and take your time.  Divorce is so painful, and frankly, it practically always makes things worse.  There’s no need to rush to divorce.  Let the “Josefins” in your life encourage you when you need encouragement the most.

23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.25 Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.

The bible is full of brilliant advice on how to handle your relationships, the difficult part is following through and being obedient to the word!  I am truly convinced, after 15 years of working with couples in conflict, that the best thing you can do when frustrated with your spouse is be patient and loving.  Unless you are being abused emotionally or physically, of course.

How could you live 2 Timothy 2:24 this week with your spouse?  Leave a comment and let us know what you want to do this week to love your spouse like you are challenged in 2 Timothy.

The basic premise of our book is that you don’t have to kiss dating goodbye, in fact, if you learn how to honor God, others, and yourself then you can actually have a great dating experience that prepares you very well for marriage!  We take a pro dating stance in our book and then help young adults learn how to set up the right boundaries to keep themselves safe and protected while dating.

Here’s the chapters:

1. Let’s Hear It for Dating
2. Making a List and Checking It Twice
3. It’s All in Your Personality
4. Dating 101
5. Sex and the City
6. Staying Safe While Dating
7. Keeping Emotional Boundaries
8. What If Mr. or Ms. Right Turns Out to Be All Wrong?

As you can see the book is very applicable and straightforward. I think the best feedback we’ve been given over the years is that people really appreciate our openness and honesty. Amy and I are very transparent in the book and do not take a position of talking down to young adults, but rather, we respect them and believe they can make healthy choices in their dating relationships if they are given the chance.

The reason behind wanting a new title is that the church, in general, wasn’t ready for a Christian book to have the word “naked” in the title.  I was a bit ahead of the curve on that one =]  The book still did extremely well, and has been in print since 2003.  But now we get a chance to spruce things up, expand and deliberate on what we’ve learned since initially writing the book and put a new cover on it as well.

So let us know what you think would be a great title for the book.  If a title is chosen, the winner can have the choice of whatever they want from our online store (one item only) and of course a signed copy of the new look book!

The wife of shamed golfer Tiger Woods is set to move back in with him. Friends of Swedish model Elin yesterday revealed she was prepared to give their troubled marriage another shot. Since Tiger’s string of affairs became public, Elin, 30, has been living in a rented mansion near their home in Windermere, in Orlando, Florida. Celebrity website RadarOnline claim she agreed earlier this week to move back into the family home with their two children. Relations had been thawing in recent weeks. On Wednesday, the couple spent around three hours together at the family home, a source claimed. They were in the backyard and at one point Tiger, 34, kissed Elin three times on the cheek and they hugged. However, Elin has yet to put back on her wedding ring.

Does Tiger deserve another chance? Absolutely! No one is unredeemable, especially if they do the work necessary to repair the damage.  As long as he’s not being abusive currently (either physically, emotionally, or contuing with the affairs) then he deserves another chance.  What do you all think?  We’ve written a few posts on the Tiger situation here.

Does Tiger deserve another go?  What say you…either leave us a comment or vote in our poll.

LADIES ONLY PLEASE

So thus begins a four part series on how men can better love their wives.  I want to encourage everyone reading this that the series is not going to be a male bashing experience.  Frankly, I’m tired of men continually getting picked on because we love differently than woman do.  It feels at times that the socially acceptable way to love someone is how a woman loves.  Men want to love and be loved just as much as women, we just tend to do it differently.

But the reality is that men marry women, so we need to learn how to love a woman better.  My dad, brother, and I wrote a book titled “The Men’s Relational Toolbox“.  We addressed this in the book, that men need to add certain skills to their relational toolbox in order to love their wives and daughters better.  This series is teaching four fundamentally important things that men can do to better love their wives!

The first week we learned how to truly “fix it” with our wives by learning how to better listen.  Men often get accused of trying to “fix it” too often by their wives.  The good news is that men care enough about their wives to want to fix it, but the bad news is that most men go about fixing it in an ineffective manner.  Usually the best course of action is to simply shut our mouths and listen.

James 1:19-21 teaches us, ”Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human angers does not produce the righteousness God desires.So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”

Listening is important because it’s important to our wives and it reflects a godly character (because we’re being obedient to James 1:19-21). But listening also helps increase our emotional and physical intimacy with our wife. When our wife feels loved and listened to, she will also feel more excited about the physical part of our relationship. Now let me be very clear, we do not listen because we want more sex, we listen because it’s the right way to love our wives better (more sex is just an awesome natural result of a close relationship).

Often times we read verses like the ones in James, and we thing, “That sounds great, but how do I do that practically?” Here’s the answer: you need to LUV your wife if you are going to be a better listener. LUV stands for Listen, Understand, and Validate. LUV is the main tenant to our communication method we teach couples at our Marriage Restoration Intensive program.

Listening is all about body language, eye contact, and intention…yes…whether or not we really want to listen.

Understanding comes when we ask questions of our wives when we feel confused or need further clarification. You want your wife to melt at your words, then just say something like, “Honey, I hear that you want to spend more time together, could you let me know what spending time together would look like to you?”  Proverbs 15:23; 28 23 “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.”

Validating is saying things like, “Yes, I totally hear what you’re saying. Is there anything you need from me?” Validation is the art of allowing your wife the freedom of her own feelings and needs. Proverbs 13:3, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

This first week is about LUV, which is one of the most powerful ways you can “fix” anything for your wife.  Most wives just want to be heard and validated.  All you’ve been missing is how to accomplish this, and now you have some simply ways to listen effectively so you can have the kind of marriage you dreamt about during your engagement!

Mission accomplished!

Where most people get stuck on learning how to validate is figuring out that validation does not mean you agree with your spouse’s feelings or needs, but rather that you understand what they are and accept them.  Validation says to your spouse, “I love you, I hear what you’re saying, so what can I do for you now?”

We must allow our spouse to experience her own feelings and needs.  We can not get involved with justifying, defending, or arguing about our spouse’s feelings or needs.  What does this look like on a practical level? If your spouse comes to you and say something like, “Hey, last night at the party I really felt ignored.”  You can not say in return things like, “Well, I felt ignored too!” or “Let me explain what happened…if you would just listen to my side of the story…”  These kinds of statements only push us farther apart and make our relationship dissatisfying.

What we need to say are things like, “I am so sorry you felt ignored last night.”  ”It was not my intention to ignore you last night, but obviously, I came across that way.  What do you need from me to repair this?”  Couples need to stop arguing about the facts and simply worry about validating the feelings of their spouses.

I know some of you reading this are saying to yourselves, “Yea, but Michael, you don’t understand how ridiculous my spouse is!” I’m sorry that your spouse is frustrating you, but here’s the reality, the more you invalidate, the worse whatever the issue is gets.  Validation is like a puffer fish.  When your spouse feels hurt from something (fair or unfair) they puff up in defense.  Validation helps the puffer fish relax and get back to normal size.

Until the next retreat, enjoy this one vicariously =]

So as you can imagine, when I heard that my own father was guest appearing on one of their newest videos, I couldn’t believe my ears!  My own father, THE GARY SMALLEY, on a video with my comedy heroes.  Then I heard what they talked him in to doing at the end of the video, and I couldn’t wait to see it personally!  Following below is my interview with Johnny and Chachi, but I’d recommend that all of you CLICK HERE to watch the actual video of my dad and the 6 Killer Marriage Tips.  You will want to watch the whole thing because you won’t believe what happens at the end of the video! It will be something you’ve never seen before from Gary Smalley, and I believe you will love it! [As a side note, I do want to apologize for my abnormally large head in this interview! It was my first Skype interview, and I now understand that I need to back off the camera a little bit =]

We ended up dancing the night away and had one of the funnest nights ever!  Which I will say again, simply going out and having fun together is one of the most powerful things you can do to improve the level of happiness and joy in your marriage.  Even if you are stressed out with each other, do not give up having fun.  I know this sounds strange, because, how can you have fun with each other if you are stressed out with each other?  Easy.  Make a choice.  We are not victims of our emotions, our emotions are victims of our choices.

So have a Lover’s Day celebration in memory of ours from Saturday night! (you’ll have to watch the video to understand that one)

And by the way, what did you do for Valentine’s Day? Leave us a comment on the post and we’ll pick the best one of the group and send you a free DNA of Relationships DVD series!

If you want to preorder Faithbook of Jesus now, please click on the Amazon.com link below:

One of our friends is Renee Johnson, who is getting close to releasing a great devotional book titled, “The Faithbook of Jesus”.  You can pre order the book here. Check out some of these endorsements for her book:

“Faithbook of Jesus” is a powerful and creative tool to reach out to 20-somethings to draw them into a daily relationship with God. I encourage everyone to pick up a copy. – Josh McDowell, Leading Apologist/Evangelist. Author of over 77 books, 49 million copies sold

“As Senior Pastor of a church known for its young following, I see the power 20-something’s can have when they truly connect with God and seek His Will for their lives. This is a book for young people to draw closer to the heart of God. I encourage everyone to pick up a copy of “Faithbook of Jesus” today”. – Miles McPherson, Senior Pastor of the Rock Church, San Diego

We’ve worked with Renee for a while now and really appreciate her heart for wanting to inspire people to draw closer to Christ!

Valentine’s day is coming (just in case you haven’t noticed the color red overload everywhere).  Believe it or not, Amy and I are attending a Valentine’s Day party at Taquerias Arandas where we will sing the night away with karaoke and cheap tacos!

If cheap tacos and karaoke are not your thing for Valentine’s Day, then maybe snuggling up with your honey on the couch to watch a great love story would do the trick.  I’ve compiled a list of the top 25 romantic movies of all time spanning 5 different eras!  These make my list, but what is missing? Let me know with your comments and let the debate begin!

TOP ROMANCE MOVIES FROM THE 50’s

“The African Queen” – 1951
“Singing’ in the Rain” – 1952 – How can anyone ever forget the famous scene in this movie! Hollywood at it’s best!
“Roman Holiday” – 1953
“From Here to Eternity” – 1953
“An Affair to Remember” – 1957

TOP ROMANCE MOVIES FROM THE 60’s

“West Side Story” – 1961
“My Fair Lady” – 1964
“Doctor Zhivago” – 1965
“The Sound of Music” – 1965 – I had to include this one because…I had to.  No good reason other than we always feel good after watching it.
“Funny Girl” – 1968

TOP ROMANCE MOVIES FROM THE 70’s

“Love Story” – 1970
“Annie Hall” – 1977
“Grease” – 1978
“Manhattan” – 1979

TOP ROMANCE MOVIES FROM THE 80’s

“Witness” – 1985
“Moonstruck” – 1987
“Roxanne” – 1987 – Amy and I are always suckers for the romantic and funny comedies!
“The Princess Bride” – 1987 – That goes for this one too!
“When Harry Met Sally” – 1989

TOP ROMANCE MOVIES FROM THE 90’s

“Ghost” – 1990
“Beauty and the Beast” – 1991
“Titanic” – 1997
“Sense and Sensibility” – 1995 – I am embarrassed to admit that I’ve watched this movie probably 10 times over my life! I can not watch it enough.
“Shakespeare in Love” – 1998

So this is my list…what say you?

ONE LUCKY COMMENTER WILL WIN MY DAD’S LATEST BOOK, “AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE”.  I WILL MAKE SURE AND GET IT SIGNE FOR YOU AS WELL.  BUT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE A COMMENT HERE ON THE BLOG POST TO WIN.

The 100th survey filled out wins The Comedy of Love DVD by me! It’s my first comedy show ever, and I think you’ll enjoy it (at least I hope you will).