Do not worry or even think about her not fulfilling Galations 5:22-23. You can do nothing to compel her to act like the Christian she claims to be. She says God told her it was OK to get a divorce, which is obviously not true (Malachi 2:16), and that she has peace about it, which is also a lie, but which she may well believe. Do not even talk to her about this. Simply say that you will stand for your marriage and fulfill your commitment to her as best you can, with God's help, and then show her you mean what you say by starting to work on yourself. Pray without ceasing, because these kinds of situations frequently get worse before they get better, and you will need God's help. You work on you fulfilling I Peter 3:7.

When you are confronted with life-threatening injury, the first order of business is to stop the bleeding. It is the same in Marriage. Read "Love Busters" by Willard Harley, and start applying what you learn. Today. A fairly comprehensive description of Love Busters is available on Harley's web site: (www.marriagebuildiers.com), under the heading "Basic Concepts", so you really can start today, and don't even need to buy the book. "Love Busters" are things we do to our spouses that cause them to lose their feelings of love for us. Demands, disrespect, anger, annoying habits, independent behavior and dishonesty are all things that poison marriages. Identify where you are doing these things, and stop. It is likely your spouse is doing many of them to you right now. It is probably causing you a great deal of emotional pain. It will probably make you want to respond in kind. I wish I could tell you how to make the pain go away, but I don't know how. It will sap your desire to work on yourself, especially since it will make you will think that the changes you are making are not working. When a woman who has been repeatedly hurt sees change, she usually does not believe it at first. It will take repetition, consistency and time for her to come around. You will need to cling to Jesus for comfort from the pain, and strength to keep going.

Second, replace those negative behaviors with things that build your relationship. See Harley's website under "Emotional Needs", or read Gary Chapman's book: "The 5 Love Languages". Start doing things that she allows you to do that fill her emotional tank. Touching is out, right now. However, if you think back, you may be able to remember things that you did in the past that really made her happy. Do similar things. I can't want to get in to specifics, because everyone is different in what makes them feel most loved. God occasionally gave me some good ideas more or less directly, once I started praying specifically about this. If you are a reader, Ken Nair's book "Discovering the Mind of a Woman" had some excellent suggestions, on both things to avoid and things to do.

The things you will get from these books are very practical. I do not discount the value of spiritual warfare, but when I was struggling to save my marriage, Harley's books, in particular, are what God led me to read and apply first. In retrospect, my deciding to listen to Him was the most important factor, and He used much of the practical advice in those books to help me. Had I been more spiritually mature, He may have directed me differently.