Q&A: How do you make your spouse stop emotionally abusing you?

This question comes from Idaho and deals with a very serious matter.  Please watch so you can understand what emotional abuse is and how you can protect yourself (or help someone get protected from abuse).

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About Michael Smalley

"Some of my favorite resources are our latest book A Surprising Way to a Stronger Marriage, Don't Date Naked (for young adults).

2 Responses to “Q&A: How do you make your spouse stop emotionally abusing you?”

  1. Gayle May 26, 2010 5:20 pm #

    About establishing boundaries: My husband doesn't call me names, doesn't yell, doesn't verbally attack me. Instead:

    1.) He criticizes (just little criticisms — I left the light on again, I left the garage door open again, I took too long in the shower again, I left the windshield wipers in the "on" position again. . .).

    2.) He sets me up for failure (like leaving messages on my cell phone when he knows I don't have it on me, or withholding pertinent information when I'm trying to make a decision).

    3.) He changes the subject when I'm trying to tell him something (Me: "Guess what just happened?" Response: crack a joke and change the subject.)

    4.) He twists facts and doesn't fight fair. Me: "I feel hurt about X." Hubby: "I don't understand why you're so upset about Y." Me: "I'm not upset about Y, I'm upset about X." Hubby: "Well, the reason Y happened is because. . . " Me: "X" Hubby: "Y" Me: "X" Hubby: "Y". . . until I'm too tired and frustrated to care.

    Th end result: I feel like he deliberately undermines me and hurts my feelings to sabotage intimacy, and I feel like I don't matter.

    How do I establish boundaries with someone who knows how to spin me in circles until I don't know which way is up?

  2. Kennesawga Garage Door Repair January 10, 2011 3:51 am #

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