Remember there are adjustments in remarriage, especially if there are children from a previous marriage. Whether you have remarried after being divorced or widowed, there will be dramatic changes as you learn the routines, habits, and likes and dislikes of another, and yet still have a connection to the previous marriage. Focus on your spouse [...]
Couples need to create emotional bonding times. Keeping the flames of romance alive may not always seem as important as security or meaningful communication, but it is. Consistent positive times of emotional bonding can add tremendous stability to a home. Remaining tender during a trial is one of the most powerful ways to build an [...]
Gary: In this day and age, security in the marriage relationship almost seems to have gone the way of the public pay phone. Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, and the statistics are about the same among Christians as they are in society at large. Yet feeling secure in the relationship is vital [...]
A marriage can’t be sustained with romance alone. But added to security, meaningful communication, and meaningful touch, it can be a tremendous source of energy and growth. Wise husbands and wives will take time to practice small acts of touching: holding hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate’s shoulders for [...]
Communication is the single most effective way to deepen intimacy in any relationship, whether it’s with your mate, family, friends, or on the job. Just as food is essential to a healthy body, intimate communication is essential to a healthy relationship. Generally, our communication is based on what we consider to be within our safety [...]
There are five keys or attitudes that open a closed heart: Become gentle; demonstrate tenderheartedness. Understand what the other person has gone through, listening carefully not only to what is said, but also to how it is said. What has caused the anger? Acknowledge that the person is hurting, and admit when you have been [...]
Gary: When we say the word intimacy, most people immediately think of sex. But the physi- cal act of coming together in marriage is only one aspect of intimacy. And in some ways, it’s not even the most important aspect. (I know, you may find it hard to believe that a guy is saying that [...]
When you boil down a lot of destructive arguments, what you often find is a simple lack of facts. The conflicts begin when an individual sees something that bothers him and then draws a con- clusion. But what he thinks he sees may not be true at all. There’s nothing new about this advice. James, [...]
There’s no way to overcome our weaknesses without knowing our strengths. Why? Almost without exception, our weaknesses are a reflection of our strengths being pushed to an extreme. Many family conflicts are caused by viewing another person’s strengths as weaknesses. A clear view of what naturally motivates another person can open the door to greater [...]
How destructive bottled-up resentment can be! Anger has many tragic consequences in a marriage. It creates distance and pushes us into darkness. It can tie our emotions and decisions into knots. We may not be able to keep anger from cropping up as an instantaneous and instinctive reaction to some pain or problem, but we [...]
