Norma: One way I’ve tried to build security in our marriage is that I’ve consciously and deliberately never used the words hate or divorce or leave with Gary, even in our most heated “discussions.” I’ll admit I thought the words on a number of occasions in years gone by. But I’ve seen the devastation done to individuals – men and women as well as children – and families by separation and divorce, and I never want any part of that. Even more, when I vowed on our wedding day to love and remain faithful to Gary, I was making that promise to God. I was making it to Gary as well, but I was especially making it to God, and I take that very seriously.

Gary: Another thing that has helped to build security in our relationship is that we pray together about anything in our family or ministry that looks challenging. There’s a great sense of peace and oneness that comes from going to God together and placing a difficult matter in His hands.

We also know that when we’re both seeking His will for a particular concern, we’re on the right track to finding a good answer, because self-centeredness and ego have been taken out of play. We both want what’s best for each other, for our marriage, for our family, or whatever the case may be.

Norma: It’s nice to get flowers and to go out for fancy dinners. Those kinds of things do develop the feelings of romance that are so enjoyable, and I certainly like it when they’re a part of our relationship. I’ve learned, however, that as nice as the feelings of romance are, they’re no substitute for the security of a rock-solid commitment. Knowing that your love and your marriage will truly last “till death do us part” is the greatest feeling of all! During hard times, when I don’t feel love toward Gary, I always remember that feelings change so many times during the day because situations change—but my decision to love him was a commitment for life.

Gary: Intimacy does not start in the bedroom; it has its fulfillment in the bedroom. Romantic expressions shared throughout your days can keep the sense of warmth and desire alive even when difficult times arise. The small things, good or bad, often are the ones that shape your relationship in the long term.

In today’s show you will….

• To divorce or not to divorce….that is the question on today’s show where you will learn
• What a new form of couples therapy is all about called “Discernment Counseling” started by Bill Doherty, from the University of Minnesota.
• And the signs of whether you should call it quits or if you should hang in there!

LEAVE A REVIEW ON ITUNES - (IT REALLY HELPS PEOPLE FIND THE SHOW)

BROUGHT TO YOU BY SMALLEY CENTER – 96% OF OUR FORMER COUPLES WOULD RECOMMEND OUR PROGRAM TO YOU IF YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDED HELP! SMALLEYCENTER.COM OR CALL US AT 800-975-8748 THAT’S 800-975-8748.

CLIP FROM RICKY BOBBY

Why that clip? Because the first priority of today’s show is to make sure that everyone listening fully understands how stupid divorce is. Now don’t feel ashamed if you’ve already been divorced, but you actually know what I’m talking about!

Discernment Counseling is…

1. Makes a couple decide what they are doing in counseling
2. Puts them on a track right from the beginning

This is what I do in intensives, so I like it, but the research is still out.

So when should you call it quits?

Physical or emotional abuse. (listen to the show on what defines emotional abuse)

When should you hang in there?

• Poor communication or conflict resolution
• That’s it! There’s not a million other reasons!

HIGHLIGHTED RESOURCES ON THE SHOW

The Surprising Way to a Stronger Marriage – click here

ARTIST HIGHLIGHT

FOURTEEN40 – Lucky Number 13 – Click here to view on iTunes