If your marriage relationship doesn’t have a destination, how will you know when you arrive? And why wait for love to materialize out of stardust, when you could choose excitement and romance—now?

There is a simple yet profound plan for a marriage of depth and warmth and excitement! Plan, you ask? Exactly! Good marriages are no accident. The rules are simple enough, you just need them outlined for you to follow in a profound guide. Tough times can strike any family relationship. But deciding to love—in practical ways outlined here—can result in relationships that are tougher than tough times.

Six elements to staying in love, included in Love Is a Decision, are:

1.Making your spouse feel truly honored
2.Learning the art of touching—tenderly
3.Keeping courtship alive in your marriage
4.Re-opening a heart closed by anger
5.Building—or rebuilding—trust in a relationship
6.Becoming best friends with your family
These six elements are the keys to Love. Love is not an emotion, love is not a feeling, love is not happen-stance. Love is a Decision. Love is waking up every day committed to honoring your mate by implementing the above six keys. If you want to have a great relationship, guess what, it’s up to you.

We see so many couples come through our live events and counseling sessions who want us to “fix” them. They are wanting a better, more fun-filled and intimate marriage, but they don’t know how to reach it. The most common and most fundamental thing these couples are lacking is the knowledge that love is a decision.

If you want to wake up each and every morning excited about your marriage, then deciding to do this is the first step. If you don’t know how to make this first, most basic step, then Love Is a Decision will help you get there!

Click here to buy the book Love Is a Decision

Gary: In this day and age, security in the marriage relationship almost seems to have gone the way of the dodo. Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, and the statistics are about the same among Christians as they are in society at large.

Yet feeling secure in the relationship is vital to true romance. How can you give yourself fully and without reservation to your spouse unless you’re confident he or she will still be with you, loving and supporting you, next week, next year, 10-years from now, and so on until the day that death finally separates you?

Norma: One way I’ve tried to build security in our marriage is that I’ve consciously and deliberately never used the words hate or divorce or leave with Gary, even in our most heated “discussions.” I’ll admit I thought the words on a number of occasions in years gone by. But I’ve seen the devastation done to individuals, men and women as well as children, and families by separation and divorce, and I never wanted any part of that.

Even more, when I vowed on our wedding day to love and remain faithful to Gary, I was making that promise to God. I was making it to Gary as well, but I was especially making it to God, and I take that very seriously.

Gary: Another thing that has helped to build security in our relationship is that we pray together about anything in our family or ministry that looks challenging. There’s a great sense of peace and oneness that comes from going to God together and placing a difficult matter in His hands.

We also know that when we’re both seeking His will for a particular concern, we’re on the right track to finding a good answer, because self-centeredness and ego have been taken out of play. We both want what’s best for each other, for our marriage, for our family, or whatever the case may be.

Norma: It’s nice to get flowers and to go out for fancy dinners. Those kinds of things do develop the feelings of romance that are so enjoyable, and I certainly like it when they’re a part of our relationship.

I’ve learned, however, that as nice as the feelings of romance are, they’re no substitute for the security of a rock-solid commitment. Knowing that your love and your marriage will truly last “till death do us part” is the greatest feeling of all!

During hard times, when I don’t feel love toward Gary, I always remember that feelings change so many times during the day because situations change—but my decision to love him was a commitment for life.

Recommended Resource: Love is a Decision
© Copyright 2002 Smalley Relationship Center

Yet feeling secure in the relationship is vital to true romance. How can you give yourself fully and without reservation to your spouse unless you’re confident he or she will still be with you, loving and supporting you, next week, next year, 10-years from now, and so on until the day that death finally separates you?

Norma: One way I’ve tried to build security in our marriage is that I’ve consciously and deliberately never used the words hate or divorce or leave with Gary, even in our most heated “discussions.” I’ll admit I thought the words on a number of occasions in years gone by. But I’ve seen the devastation done to individuals, men and women as well as children, and families by separation and divorce, and I never wanted any part of that.

Even more, when I vowed on our wedding day to love and remain faithful to Gary, I was making that promise to God. I was making it to Gary as well, but I was especially making it to God, and I take that very seriously.

Gary: Another thing that has helped to build security in our relationship is that we pray together about anything in our family or ministry that looks challenging. There’s a great sense of peace and oneness that comes from going to God together and placing a difficult matter in His hands.

We also know that when we’re both seeking His will for a particular concern, we’re on the right track to finding a good answer, because self-centeredness and ego have been taken out of play. We both want what’s best for each other, for our marriage, for our family, or whatever the case may be.

Norma: It’s nice to get flowers and to go out for fancy dinners. Those kinds of things do develop the feelings of romance that are so enjoyable, and I certainly like it when they’re a part of our relationship.

I’ve learned, however, that as nice as the feelings of romance are, they’re no substitute for the security of a rock-solid commitment. Knowing that your love and your marriage will truly last “till death do us part” is the greatest feeling of all!

During hard times, when I don’t feel love toward Gary, I always remember that feelings change so many times during the day because situations change—but my decision to love him was a commitment for life.