1. Avoid stimulants and sugar.

Here’s the catch-22: the more stressed you get, the more you crave coffee and doughnuts, pizza and Coke. But the more coffee, Coke, doughnuts, and pizza in your system, the more stressed you get. It’s not your imagination. When you are stressed and have low levels of serotonin, your brain produces cravings for sugar and simple carbohydrates, which primes the beta-endorphin system to want more and more. The same with caffeine. It’s a powerful drug that affects a number of neurochemicals in your brain, which means it produces withdrawal symptoms that can make you very very very very irritable.

2. Compare and despair.

The last thing you should do when you’re stressed–which I always do when I’m stressed–is start looking around at other people’s package (job, family support, balanced brain) and pine for some of that. I grow especially jealous of non-addict friends who can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or those with moms nearby that offer to take the kids for sleepovers.

via 10 More Stress Busters | World of Psychology.

Today’s tip is about remaining clear headed when in public. First of all, there’s no way every person is thinking negative thoughts about your kid or parenting skills. You probably don’t about other parents, and if you’re like me, you probably feel empathy for the parent and not disgust.

Secondly, call a time-out and do not deal with your kid immediately. If she is throwing a fit, then remove her from the area and get her to the car. The last thing you want to do is to really “get into it” with your kid publicly. That is humiliating to your child and it will end up being even more humiliating to you. If your kid starts getting in to the habit of throwing a fit in public and ruining your chance to be out of the house, then talk with a friend and have her come and get the child. I did this once with Reagan and she never threw a fit again at the mall. She was shocked to see our babysitter pull up to the mall and take her home for a time-out until I returned home. Her face was classic as I got to stay with my son and continue having fun at the mall!

You all have been awesome in trying to help choose the new URL for a parenting site idea I had this week! Thanks so much for your insight and time for voting.  After a great (albeit quick) conversation this morning with Amy (not my wife but the owner of the blog MomsToolbox.com) that I needed to give more details on what I want the site to be so you can give even better feedback on a URL.

So here is the big idea, a website dedicated to moms and dads everywhere that will help create a community to better discipline our children.  For example, if your child acts up and freaks out every time you try and go to the mall, you could come to the site and post your issue with the child and then get feedback on effective discipline ideas from other parents from around the world!  How cool would that be.

I feel stuck lots of times when a new issue comes up with one of my kids and I don’t know what an appropriate and effective punishment would be.  With that in mind, here are a few new URL ideas, and once again, if you can think of a better one just leave it as a comment below.

[poll id="6"]

I am getting ready to launch a new website for parents that is going to rock the parenting world! I could not be more excited about a new project than I am about this new website! Have I added enough exclamation points to the paragraph yet to prove just how excited I am? I do not want to give out a ton of details about what this website is going to do to revolutionize parenting, but I do want feedback on potential URL’s.

So let me know which one of the two below you like the most.  If you do not like either of them, then please feel free to leave a comment with a better URL for me to consider.

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If you did not like either of those URL’s, then please leave a comment below with a better idea. Remember, criticism without possible solutions is not very nice =]

What’s better than the lazy, lump-on-a-log dad stereotype? Well, the whiney, nagging wife stereotype of course. Thanks to Melissa Kossler Dutton at Patagraph.com we got a decent dose of both. In her March 9^th article, “Moms mad at dad: A touch of rage on the homefront” Dutton aims blame squarely on dads as she assesses, “Men still don’t pull their weight.”

Dutton’s article focuses on the fact that moms are filled with rage because of their husbands. Moms almost walk on water and their anger is given a pass time and time again. Her article is a reactionary piece like many similar gripe session articles that all were born from the article “Mad at Dad” from Parenting.com. The “Mad at Dad” article is a real gem and pulls on such great statistics like:

Fatherhood Examiner: Angry Wives Examined: Who’s to Blame?.

Just to be clear, NO YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ANGER!  Did I make my point clear enough? No one makes us angry, we choose to be angry no matter how worthless your husband may be with the kids, it is up to you on how you respond to it.

Over and over again I am reminded that the goal of parenthood is to raise kids who can stand on their own two feet. And their own brains. Kids who begin to learn at an early age how to think for themselves and who get practice at it, and encouragement for doing so.

Of course, raising such kids isn’t easy. It’s a process of negotiating decision-making every step of the way and, eventually, handing over authority. Kindly tell me what parent today has time for protracted debate over every single little facet of experience, or negotiating which elements of a developing child’s life are in fact negotiable.

Add to that the fact that kids raised to be thoughtful don’t always automatically do what you say. They are given to questioning things, including you and every other voice and symbol of authority.

I personally think those are small and necessary prices to pay, because today’s kids create tomorrow’s society. We want them to be steeped in the democratic process and capable of independent thinking on all kinds of issues great and small. We want them to have all the equipment for successful lives of their own.

An eight-year-old German schoolboy who wanted to complain to his mother about being sent out of class took his teacher’s car and crashed it, police said.

Disgruntled 8-year-old boy crashes teacher’s car | Oddly Enough | Reuters.

The verse is James 1:5 and is from The Message:

5 If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.

By the way, you won’t believe how Reagan worked the word “cheese” into this devotional. It is quite hilarious!

Questions you can ask the kids:

1. What kinds of questions can you ask God?
2. Does God seem interested in our problems?
3. Is there any problem that we can have that God would laugh at or ignore?

THE controversial and “distressing” equal-time parenting laws for divorced couples could be overhauled, the federal Attorney-General says.

Equal parenting for divorced couples may be scrapped | The Courier-Mail

Child deaths test faith-healing exemption — chicagotribune.com.

Getting Tough on Bullying – washingtonpost.com.

The Modesto Bee | Parenting Tips.

A hefty review in last week’s New Yorker magazine takes on several books about “overparenting,” the toxic combination of treating kids with excessive permissiveness and outsize expectations (some of which I touched on in this post last week).

The Juggle – WSJ.com : Is There an Overparenting Epidemic?

If you want to find what station the show is on in your market, please go here. John Tesh is hosting the show, so you won’t want to miss a thing!

The lesson was about validation. My daughter got her feelings hurt by one of the neighborhood girls. I happened to be outside when it occurred because we’ve been experiencing a power outage due to a major thunderstorm that rolled through a few hours ago. I only share that because I want to be honest, there’s no way I would have been outside tonight because the Spurs are playing the Lakers in game 4 of the Western conference finals.

God used the power outage to my advantage. As I overheard the girls arguing back and forth with each other, each one taking her own position, I waltzed out to the middle of the cul-de-sac and announced that I wanted to teach everyone a valuable lesson about validating. Of course, each girl (including my daughter) looked at me like I was straight out of a science fiction movie. But I seized the opportunity for a ‘teachable moment’ and plodded ahead.

I quickly shared how validation is:

the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other’s opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed. (thank you Wikipedia)

Wikipedia has honestly one of the best definitions I’ve ever read on validation. So I taught the girls what it looks like when you validate one another. I even pulled out an example, you could even call it a parable. It only took me about 1.5 minutes to share my thoughts, and I truly believe the world is a better place because of my actions tonight (hence the hero feelings mentioned earlier).

Luckily for me, Reagan’s fit was so over the top that I actually had to concentrate more on not laughing rather than loosing control.

I had asked Reagan to say each of her spelling words out loud, then write each word down three times.  It felt like a good plan to me but Reagan must have thought I was asking her to remove one of her vital organs! I sent Reagan to her room and told her she had 10 minutes to finish the exercise.  When the 10 minutes past, I called out to her and she ran down the stairs and handed me the sheet of paper.

I was surprised to see what had been written.  Instead of her spelling words written out 3 times each, there was one statement written in such a way as to fill out the entire sheet of paper, and it read, “I HATE SPELLING!”

Being a parent is so much fun!

If you recently purchased one of our small group DVD series and want to download the corresponding free workbook, then please ‘right click’ on the workbook title you want to download from the list below and then choose ’save target as’:

• Wrestling with Gorillas: 5 essential strategies for successful parenting DVD (A Smalley Signature Small Group Series), you can download the FREE inductive study guide by clicking on the title – Wrestling with Gorillas Workbook. (Adobe Acrobat required.) You can print out as many as you want to go along with your small group or class.
• Reconstructing Love: four fundamental truths that can literally redefine your marriage for the better DVD. (A Smalley Signature Small Group Series) Adobe Acrobat required. Please download the workbook by clicking on the title Reconstructing Love workbook. You can print out as many as you want to go along with your small group or class.

LUV Talk Cards FREE download (Adobe Acrobat required)

Download your free LUV Talk card for your wallet or purse (single card edition)
Download your free LUV Talk card for your wallet or purse (full sheet edition)

Do you need an example of a Family Contract? Download this example for help in designing your own family contract.

Check out our simple personality test and then look here for the interpretations. You can even do this for your kids, to see how they score so you can better parent to their personality.

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