Comments on: The problem with pornography – seriously! http://smalley.cc/the-problem-with-pornography-seriously Expert advice on dating, marriage, and parenting Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:57:58 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Catherine http://smalley.cc/the-problem-with-pornography-seriously/comment-page-1#comment-54549 Catherine Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:44:04 +0000 http://www.gosmalley.com/?p=3843#comment-54549 From a woman's perspective....here's how a wife can be affected by the PAST and current porn use of her husband. I say PAST because if he stopped doing it but got absolutely no help in understanding why he does porn or did not receive help with Sexual Anorexia which often goes hand in hand with the porn addiction then a woman who hooks herself up with this type of man will be in for the most INCREDIBLE pain of her life. Porn use devalues, desensitizes and so much more. Instead of me completed with another REAL woman which I may of had some semblence of a chance in doing, I am know completing with thousands of woman, their body parts, faces, acts of sexual immorality that are down in my husband's brain and can be downloaded at any given time for his enjoyment and pleasure. He may be saying "baby, baby" to me when where having sex but who is actually playing in his mind, this time. Which girl, which body part, which fantasy. I can tell you I am a very attractive woman, some even say beautiful. I had a fairly high level of self-esteem prior to me discovering my husband's porn use. I used to enjoy a glance from another man, thinking to myself "wow, I guess I look nice today". But, today...that has been destroyed. I know feel naked as I walk down the street wondering which deviate mind is undressing me as they glance at my body, my hair, my face. No longer do I feel free. My self esteem has tanked. I can not complete with my husbands unlimited hard drive of porn stars, nor do I even want to try. There is no lie he can tell me to make me feel better. I no longer trust my Christian husband to even tell me the truth about anything. He has deceived for far too long, all the while appearing to be Mr. Wonderful to everyone else. I say this, because, woman you need to become aware of how your husband is spending his time. Pay attention to how he is treating you, has his patience grown thin, does he now have a lower tolerence to frustration, is his angrier, does he ignore you completely, withdraw. Seek God.....seek the truth. God will reveal the truth to you and He can help you, but it is an extremely long road to recover from as the porn addict walks in denial and deceit and without honesty and ownership.....the attitudes can not be change, nor the behavior. . From a woman’s perspective….here’s how a wife can be affected by the PAST and current porn use of her husband. I say PAST because if he stopped doing it but got absolutely no help in understanding why he does porn or did not receive help with Sexual Anorexia which often goes hand in hand with the porn addiction then a woman who hooks herself up with this type of man will be in for the most INCREDIBLE pain of her life. Porn use devalues, desensitizes and so much more. Instead of me completed with another REAL woman which I may of had some semblence of a chance in doing, I am know completing with thousands of woman, their body parts, faces, acts of sexual immorality that are down in my husband’s brain and can be downloaded at any given time for his enjoyment and pleasure. He may be saying “baby, baby” to me when where having sex but who is actually playing in his mind, this time. Which girl, which body part, which fantasy. I can tell you I am a very attractive woman, some even say beautiful. I had a fairly high level of self-esteem prior to me discovering my husband’s porn use. I used to enjoy a glance from another man, thinking to myself “wow, I guess I look nice today”. But, today…that has been destroyed. I know feel naked as I walk down the street wondering which deviate mind is undressing me as they glance at my body, my hair, my face. No longer do I feel free. My self esteem has tanked. I can not complete with my husbands unlimited hard drive of porn stars, nor do I even want to try. There is no lie he can tell me to make me feel better. I no longer trust my Christian husband to even tell me the truth about anything. He has deceived for far too long, all the while appearing to be Mr. Wonderful to everyone else. I say this, because, woman you need to become aware of how your husband is spending his time. Pay attention to how he is treating you, has his patience grown thin, does he now have a lower tolerence to frustration, is his angrier, does he ignore you completely, withdraw. Seek God…..seek the truth. God will reveal the truth to you and He can help you, but it is an extremely long road to recover from as the porn addict walks in denial and deceit and without honesty and ownership…..the attitudes can not be change, nor the behavior. .

]]> By: Michael Smalley http://smalley.cc/the-problem-with-pornography-seriously/comment-page-1#comment-54252 Michael Smalley Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:54:02 +0000 http://www.gosmalley.com/?p=3843#comment-54252 From Desi: I really cannot believe we are having this discussion... really thankful for men like Michael Smalley who speak the truth in love. I don't know about you, but as a Christian, I do my best to live a life that pleases God... I'm reminded of Col 3:17, "whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord" ... yikes! Seriously... can you sit there watching porn in the name of the Lord... to His glory? And then 1 Cor 6:18 says to "shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]." I don't know if there's any wiggle room there... thought - word - deed... hmmm From Desi:

I really cannot believe we are having this discussion… really thankful for men like Michael Smalley who speak the truth in love. I don’t know about you, but as a Christian, I do my best to live a life that pleases God… I’m reminded of Col 3:17, “whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord” … yikes! Seriously… can you sit there watching porn in the name of the Lord… to His glory? And then 1 Cor 6:18 says to “shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed].” I don’t know if there’s any wiggle room there… thought – word – deed… hmmm

]]> By: Terry Williamson http://smalley.cc/the-problem-with-pornography-seriously/comment-page-1#comment-54222 Terry Williamson Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:26:07 +0000 http://www.gosmalley.com/?p=3843#comment-54222 I read the original post when you posted it, but never followed the comment stream. Needless to say, I agree with you. Porn has no place in a marriage. Period. The only other person that should be involved in your marriage is God. Check out Tim Challies' recent series of posts on the subject of sex and the effects of porn on men in our society today. http://www.challies.com/ I read the original post when you posted it, but never followed the comment stream. Needless to say, I agree with you. Porn has no place in a marriage. Period. The only other person that should be involved in your marriage is God. Check out Tim Challies’ recent series of posts on the subject of sex and the effects of porn on men in our society today. http://www.challies.com/

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