For marriage choices it narrows down to two critical things every married individual must exercise: unconditional love and personal responsibility. Unconditional love means you accept and cherish your mate as he or she is. Personal responsibility means you take charge of correcting your own faults instead of your mate’s. That, in a nutshell, is it. Intimacy, happiness, growth, communication and all the other vital aspects of a good marriage grow out of these two choices. If both partners recognize this fact, there will be no victims in the marriage. Each person’s happiness will rest entirely in his or her own hands. And the end result is the safety and security that every marriage must have in order to thrive.

Do you believe this? Really believe this? Since it’s my contention that all behavior is a result of what we believe, this is a crucial question. Do you believe that you can take personal responsibility for the success of your marriage? If you don’t, then you must believe the opposite—that your spouse or circumstances are in control of what happens to you. You must believe that you are a victim. Therefore you must react and put the blame on your mate when the marriage does not meet your expectations. This is a tragedy, because when you blame your mate you not only divest yourself of your responsibility, you also reduce the choices you have to change the relationship. You forfeit the ability to control your own destiny.

So if you want your marriage to be the most exciting and rewarding journey of your life, the question to ask is not whether your mate is doing enough to make the marriage work, but rather: Are you loving your mate unconditionally by taking responsibility for your role in the relationship? A good way to turn this intention into a commitment is to make a promise of it. Promise to look at yourself first, to take responsibility for your own part of the marriage, and to stop trying to change your mate. Such a promise puts legs on unconditional love. It says you are willing to put your personal dreams and needs on hold for a while and make what’s best for the relationship a priority.

Hamming it up, I told the young kids to give me a count down. Five…Four…Three…Two…One…Blastoff! I turned the ignition and away from the dock we flew like a rocket ship from its launch pad. I overheard the five-year-old boy say to his father, “This is the coolest boat on the lake!” I loved it. I was in boat heaven. But then something happened; the engine stopped and we started losing speed.
“Don’t worry everyone; I’ll have this fixed in a second.” I turned the ignition key several times and the engine roared back to life. Once again we were off. But then it happened again. The engine died. What was going on? This pattern of the engine starting and stopping went on for the next few minutes. I checked the gas level, oil, and anything else I could possibly think of to create the illusion that I knew what I was doing. But no matter what I did, shortly after I’d get the engine running, it would die.

“Why won’t this boat work!” My voice boomed across the lake. I was completely frustrated and totally embarrassed. “Nothing is made with quality any more.” I wanted to sink that stupid boat right then and there, but I figured that drowning a missionary wouldn’t help my reputation.

That’s when Greg said, “Hey, Dad, what’s this cord for? Every time I pull it, the engine stops.” And then he started laughing. That cord was the emergency engine kill. I had been ready to blow up my boat, while all along it had been Greg playing a practical joke on me. At that moment I understood how it was possible for Abraham to place his son upon an altar.

For a boat, or anything electrical to function as it was designed, it needs to be connected to a power source. If human relationships are to function as they were designed, they too need to be connected to a power source. It’s as if you have a built-in battery that needs daily charges to keep you feeling complete and satisfied. For a long time I believed that I could keep that battery charged if I just plugged a 110-volt electrical cord into other people or my wife. Many of us enter marriage looking to our mate as the source of that power charge. We think, “Now that I have this person in my life, I am really going to have my needs met and be happy.” We ultimately find, however, that our mates cannot recharge our battery. Indeed, husbands and wives can be frustrating and irritating and drain away more emotional energy than they give. Our mates can be tremendous sources of help and encouragement, but if we expect them to be the source of our happiness, they are sure to disappoint us in the long run.

When coming face-to-face with this inevitable disappointment, many people assume they must have married the wrong person. Some may resort to an affair to recharge their battery. The stolen charge may light up the circuits for a moment, but after the glow fades they will feel emptier and more miserable than before. Even if they divorce and remarry the “right person,” they will encounter the same frustration. The problem is not in the person they marry; it is in their expectations that that person will make them happy and keep them charged day after day. Wrong.

Sooner or later we run headlong into an inescapable fact: no person on earth is capable of giving us the fulfillment we crave. We can never plug in to enough people to keep our lives filled with the happiness we want. It’s no wonder so many people consider suicide as a way out. By depending on people to make us happy, we not only miss the positive emotions we crave, we also saddle ourselves with the very negative emotions we want to avoid—deep frustration, disappointment, hurt feelings, worry, anxiety, fear, unrest, uncertainty, and confusion. These emotions are the inevitable result of depending on a person, place, or thing for your fulfillment. Bottom line: We’re just not wired to plug into other people as our power source. God made a way for us to find fulfillment and true happiness. God created us. God designed us for a relationship with Him. But the power cord must be connected through His son Jesus Christ. Jesus himself said he was the way to connect to God.

It is next to impossible to have an open heart, receptive to God’s will, if we are in serious conflict with others. God desires a sincere gift, not tarnished with unreconciled differences and past hurts. We are responsible to make sure people we have offended, or been offended by, are freed from the bondage’s of anger, vengeance, or hate.

So is anyone excluded from receiving our forgiveness? According to Matthew 5:44-48, even our enemies are worthy of forgiveness:

“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”.What a verse! Again it touches on the very nature of our incredible God who is merciful and gracious to all. We are called to be perfect, “as your heavenly Father is perfect”. Understanding that we cannot be perfect while existing on this planet, the verse is calling us to strive for Christ’s perfection. Christ’s willingness to love those who were unlovable. To care for those who were prostitutes, thieves, and yes, even tax collectors. To forgive those who most offend us. Why our enemies? God knows how much unresolved anger kills the spirit within, and designs this command to help free us from eternal regret.

No one is to be excluded from our forgiveness. Some of the greatest verses exploring the complexity of forgiveness are Romans 12:14-21. We will quote the passage at length because of their foundational quality regarding forgiveness:

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live I harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary:
‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’”.We are encouraged to bless people who persecute us. To some Christians, and probably many nonChristians, this seems very masochistic. Bless our enemies! Sure, if we were Christ maybe we could pull that off, but we are human. Remember, being human means we are created in God’s image, therefore we have the capacity to pull this off. Trust in God that this humanitarian rule serves to better the human condition rather than defile it. Think of all the hate crimes that never seem to find a resolution. This idea of blessing reminds us of turning the other cheek. Evil begets evil and love begets love.

In the passage we also read, “In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head”. When I first read this passage I imagined that forgiveness and love toward those who hurt us is painful for the perpetrator. My mind wanted to believe that loving and forgiving made evil people suffer. However, this was not Christ’s message. In further study I learned the custom of placing hot coals on someone’s head was actually a kind gesture. A surprise to me! I’m not sure how I would receive someone placing hot coals on my head. But it was a different time.

Placing coals on someone’s head was helpful because it kept the weary traveler warm throughout the cold desert nights. It was a way of honoring someone. This is why we are commanded to forgive. Remember the “Golden Rule”? We need to do for others what we would want done to us. Would we want someone to refuse to forgive us because we sinned against him or her?

We live in a fallen world. We are going to make mistakes that not only affect ourselves, but the people around us. Particularly the people that are most important to us, and there is no relationship more influential than the marital relationship. But why is forgiveness important?

I will offer three major reasons why forgiveness is important for your relationship with your mate. The first reason is the reality we are made in God’s image. Being made in God’s image carries with it a tremendous amount of honor and responsibility. Honor in knowing our innate value because of our likeness with the Creator. Responsibility because it is God’s nature to forgive.

1 John 1:9 reads, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” If we are to strive to be more Christ like in everything we do, then forgiveness is incredibly important. If God’s nature did not consist of forgiveness, where would we be? God knows the awesome power of forgiveness, and God graciously uses it to cleanse us all of our sins.

It is our nature to hunger for God, and to be in God’s light. Most people, if given the choice between two tunnels, one with light at the end and the other a cavernous black, would choose the tunnel with the light. We work better in the light, we see better in the light, and are usually less afraid in the light. “Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother (i.e. does not forgive or reconcile) is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him (1 John 2:10).” When we refuse to follow in God’s likeness and will, we only find pain and suffering.

The second reason why forgiveness is important lies in the essence of love. Forgiveness is one of the only ways we can love like God loves. When we decide to forgive someone of wrongfully harming us, we are deciding to love him or her unconditionally. The French writer and moralist, Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, wrote in the 1600’s “We pardon to the extent that we love”. If we choose not to forgive, then we are putting up limits and boundaries to our love for other people. Doubtlessly the greatest verses on love are in 1 Corinthians 13. They are quoted in weddings, sonnets, and aspiring romances. The verses speak of what love is, and how we should go about the business of love. All we will quote here is the last verse in this passage, 1 Corinthians 13:13 reads, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Thirdly, forgiveness is freeing to the soul. Forgiveness allows us to break the bonds of anger, rage, hatred, and vengeance. All these lead down the path of destruction. They are like toxins to the soul, and forgiveness is the cleanser. Much of the work in therapy often focuses around the issue of forgiveness. Anger, rage, hatred, and vengeance prevent us from growing to become the mature adults God intends us to be.

© Copyright 2003 Smalley Relationship Center

I watched a presentation yesterday on the changing social and technological trends facing us today. It made several remarkable and nearly inconceivable claims; mentioning the fact that most college freshmen will be entering the work force, gaining jobs that don’t yet exist today, graduating with an education founded on a first year of already obsolete knowledge. It also said that within 10-20 years or less the computer will have evolved to a capacity of out thinking the entire human race! As I watched, my heart rate sped with an urgency to obtain knowledge, grasp understanding and, well, just plain keep up! Among the figures, was a prediction for another terrorist attack. It was not only told to probable, but was pretty much inevitable, explained as not a matter of if, but when.

Now, this can be some tough stuff to grasp! It is not a very settling thought, and the worst part is, I can’t control it! I can’t know the day or the hour; I can’t know who and when and where; I really can’t even prepare for it! The Bible is very clear that these things will happen, but it is hard to imagine the possibility in the here and now.

So, what do we do? Living in a world of chaos, confusion, and exceedingly great economic and technological advancement, how do we remain simple and steadfast? How do we find peace and security in an anchorless generation? The truth is, we have a mighty foundation, an unchanging rock of peace and comfort! Christ promises His hand of control over our lives, our circumstances, and our futures. He promises a solid and trust worthy harness, and a confidence that can span through the uncertainty of tomorrow. Praise the Lord! Despite the mess we see in front of us, He is over all, and working through all to finish His great plan! Today, cling to the Savior! Let Him remind you that He is able to offer peace that surpasses understanding, prediction, or situation.

The apostle Paul in Philippians gives us a good answer:

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. 7 Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. 8 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. 9 Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
(Philippians 4:6-9 MSG)

God wants us to thank Him in every circumstance.  What a paradigm shift for most of us!  When we feel the worst we are suppose to thank God?  It doesn’t seem logical, then again, many of God’s ideas don’t seem logical to my pea-sized brain – which is why I have faith and trust in God’s word.

My father recently wrote (for a new book he’s working on), “I have discovered that it’s impossible to hold worry, fear and stressful thoughts while at the same time trying to express gratefulness.  Worry is like darkness and gratefulness is the switch that turns on God’s light of peace within us.”

What are the “pearls” that accompany trials?  I believe the first pearls we can experience when meditating and focusing on what Philippians 4:6-9 are the pearls of peace: “Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

Paul tells us how wonderful it is when we “sense God’s wholeness”.  You must admit, during the darker times of your life, when you followed Paul’s wisdom and experienced what he is writing about, it felt good.  Once we get our attitude aligned with Philippians 4:6-9, not only will we experience God’s wholeness, but a literal good will come of the trial.

What I mean by this, is that when bad things have happened to me in my life, usually God will allow me to help someone in the very same predicament (or at least extremely close).  I gain wisdom, strength, and endurance when I go through a trial with grace (like Philippians).  What better pearls are there than wisdom, strength, and endurance?

Possible Questions:

1. Why do bad things happen to good people?
2. How can we meditate on scripture?
3.  What are the eight things we are to meditate on? (hint, the words are in bold up above in the verses)

That’s why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you’ll get God’s everything. (Matthew 11:24 MSG)

Does God put a time limit on how long you should pray for anything? Does God ever, in any verse, put a time limit on how long we should pray for something? I think not. That is my encouragement today. That you pray for anything and everything, but you pray for God’s will and God’s timing.

Never stop. Never give up. Always keep praying because God cares and promises to be faithful. Just don’t confuse God’s faithfulness with your timeline.

And God spoke all these words, saying: ‘I am the LORD your God…

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.’ You are number one to me. I shall not worship anything higher than you, you are a jealous God and I know how you created us with a single focus to worship you. You will judge a father, mother and children up to four generations if they walk away from you and begin worshiping others gods than you. But you will bless a 1000 generations of a father and mother who lift you up in worship, honor and praise by hiding you within their hearts.

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.’ I shall not worship anything but you. Not money, sports, fleshly stimulants, jobs, visions, dreams, partnerships or anything on earth, in the heavens or beneath the sea.

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.’ I will not lie to you, lie about you, or lie to others about your words. Like, complaining, blaming, judging, swearing by degrading your name, all of these attitudes, thoughts and words are violating your words about being grateful for all things, giving thanks in all circumstances for this is your will in Christ Jesus. Whatever your words says, I will believe it and go forth with confidence that you are right and have designed me to live accordingly. All of your commandments are good and worthy of praise.

FOUR: ‘Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.’ I will worship you through your word everyday. I will spend enough time with you everyday to make up an entire Sabbath day. I will talk about you and your words in the morning, getting up, walking, sitting down, lying down, and going in the car – in whatever I am doing, when I have time to think about my choices of thought, it will be about you and your words.

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ I will continually raise the value of my parents through thoughts, words and deeds.

SIX: ‘You shall not murder.’ I will give worth and life to others instead of taking life from them through angry or degrading thoughts, hate, lust, disgust, actions of murder, and any other thought, word or actions that would take away the value of another person.

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ Instead of taking away another man or woman’s mate from them for personal pleasures, I will imagine ways that I can enrich the lives of couples and give to them whatever I can to ensure their happiness. I will never again think about doing sexual acts with another life time mate. I will pray for and imagine how other wives and husbands can have a more enriched life together by writing, speaking and counseling couples to enjoy all of what God has planned for them.

EIGHT: ‘You shall not steal.’ I will not take away what another person has but rather think of ways to enrich others by giving what I can to meet their needs. I will not take away their money, time or any other possessions they have. My desire for others is that they gain all they can from God and his creation. I don’t want what they have because my God is providing all that I need everyday through His riches in glory through Christ Jesus.

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.’ I will not take away or diminish another person’s reputation by lying about them, bad mouthing them or judging them. I do not want to be a part of tarnishing anyone’s character. I want all others to be lifted up in praise and honor, not brought down in the eyes of the world.

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.’ I will not use the freedom that God has given me to seek ways of gaining from others and what they possess because God is all that I need and He is supplying me with everything – more than I could ever imagine wanting.

Just after that, Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said, “Because you went for help to the king of Aram and didn’t ask God for help, you’ve lost a victory over the army of the king of Aram. Didn’t the Ethiopians and Libyans come against you with superior forces, completely outclassing you with their chariots and cavalry? But you asked God for help and he gave you the victory. God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him. You were foolish to go for human help when you could have had God’s help. Now you’re in trouble – one round of war after another.” (The Message)

The biggest trick, or game, the evil ones will play on you is to keep you from running toward God in times of need, especially when it involves the restoration of your marriage. Reject any thought or inaction that keeps you from seeking God in times of trouble. God will in turn bless you and use His resources immediately available to you – His word and His people!

Along with the greenery and color of new foliage, spring carries with it an essence of freshness, excitement and anticipation. It seems the moment the snow melts; new engagements, baby announcements, and wedding plans filtrate nearly every advertisement, conversation, and weekend schedule. Having my own share of recent weddings, I have had the honor of standing beside some of my very best friends on their big day. How I love to watch the eyes of the groom follow his radiant bride as she walks down the aisle to take her place at his side. To her groom she is perfect, she is accepted, and she is the only one he sees. He delights in her company, and finds joy within her gaze. She takes comfort in his strong arms, and takes confidence in the conviction and promise of his vows. What a marvelous example of how our Heavenly Father sees us! We are betrothed, and beautifully adorned in our gown of righteousness; a cloak made possible only through his sacrifice and atonement. Yes, we have been stained by the brokenness of the world around us, and have given ourselves to other lovers; we have been unfaithful, yet our groom delights greatly in us! He loves us deeply, unconditionally, and selflessly. Every one of us holds captive the eyes of our beloved; our God, and King. He is enthrawled with our beauty, and desires our love and intimate surrender in return for His faithful sacrifice. Today, commune with your bridegroom, for He seeks diligently, and waits patiently for your hand…

Here are the three sequences that happen every time you feel an emotion of fear, worry or similar emotion:

A. Something happens to you. Some circumstance or event hits you out of the blue. Like someone is driving too fast, someone says a hurtful word to you, you lose something important and all other things that can appear to be “bad.”

B. The thoughts you have about any event that “hits” you. Your thoughts come so fast to your brain that no one is aware of where the thoughts are coming from.

C. Your emotions always follow your thoughts, not the events or circumstance that happen to you. When you say, “Hey, you are scaring me”; No one is scaring you because your own thoughts are scaring you.

That is the greatest secret in life. When you change your thoughts, you change your emotions. And you are always in charge of your own thoughts and your thoughts always come from your beliefs.

The real truth about life is that no one causes any of your unhappiness, emotions of fear or worry. When you say to someone, “You are scaring me”, they are not doing anything to you, you are doing it to yourself by the beliefs you have in your own heart which are controlling your thoughts and it happens so fast, you don’t realize it.

But, what has changed so many areas of my life is that I have changed my beliefs over the past three years little by little. And now, I see the differences in my life, like, freedom from lust. For me that is a “water in to wine” miracle that I get to live with everyday. I no longer complain or gripe about “difficult circumstances.” I may fear, worry or feel some other negative emotion, but almost immediately, I remember one of God’s truths and the negative emotion leaves within an hour.

This is the main truth that has changed me and my marriage the most. We hide God’s words into our heart by thinking on them day and night for weeks and eventually, those thoughts reach our heart as beliefs! And the greatest part of our new beliefs is that they are His Beliefs because they come from His Words, The Bible!

Thus, our thoughts follow our new beliefs and our feelings follow our thoughts. We are managing our life by changing our thoughts. But, I only want to think on His words day and night until I start thinking like Christ does. And, eventually, I will start feeling like He promises me, more joy and peace that He gives us from our new beliefs which are really His beliefs!

My main activity every day is to review His Words and keep them in my heart. I’m far from being like Him and certainly not perfect at it, but everyday, and very slowly, I am becoming more like Him. I have the rest of my life to reflect Him and Him alone and finally, gain more of His Love for Him and others.

Whatever we think about the most during the day, that seed continues to grow bigger than the other seed. Once I start memorizing Bible verses like Matthew 22:37:

Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’

or verses like my favorite, which is Galatians 5:13:

For you have been called to live in freedom – not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.

I start feeding the love seed. If I think on them, chew them, meditate on them all day off and on for weeks and months, the love seed in my heart keeps growing and I find myself thinking, doing, and saying more loving things to others. Before too many months, my hedonism seed shrinks and it is finally choked off at the root level.

The more I do loving things, the more I do loving things for lack of attention because my hedonism seed is covered over by the love seed. The love seed continues to grow. The larger it gets and the healthier it gets, the more I am compelled to love naturally and automatically.

Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, ‘May God lift you up and throw you into the sea,’ and your command will be obeyed. All that’s required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it.

But if you have passion and commitment for this dream, and never give up, it will be yours in His timing. Think of Abraham and Sarah, they are a great example of God’s timing. The problem many people have is putting their personal, selfish time line, on their dreams from God and then get frustrated when their dreams don’t come to fruition. People might think that God is not real or can’t do handle the dream.

Be very careful what you dream about and make sure that the dream is truly from God. Fasting is a wonderful way many people make sure to check to see if their dreams are matching what God wants for their lives; to make sure they are not being selfish. If you have peace in your heart and you pursue your dream with deep commitment and passion, it will be yours, but only in His time frame.

Many people give up three feet from their dreams because of the wait or because of all the problems of reaching the dream. One man gave up his search for gold and sold all of his equipment to a junk man who took it and hired a gold expert who went to the gold mine and found that the gold vein was only “three feet” away in a different direction. He made millions.

The Bible calls the vision that God has given you in loving people faith. He gives everyone a measure of faith. The question is, what did God give you? How much faith, what is the picture you have in your mind that reflects your own calling to love others?

Watch how powerful this idea is explained in the Bible.

Mark 11:22-24 says:

And Jesus answered saying to them, “Have faith in God. “Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.”

Notice that as soon as the faith that God has given you reaches your heart, as a belief, and you no longer doubt the faith that God has given you, you will receive what you believe God has laid upon your heart.

The same truth is explained in Luke 11:10

“For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.”

The word “asks” means to cry out for, crave for or beg. It’s the idea of continuing to knock on a door when you must have something very important to you. So, you keep knocking until the person opens the door. That’s what Jesus is saying here. When God gives you a dream of loving people, just keep knocking on His door until He opens it.

When Michael mentioned that we can’t get rid of sin, I guess it’s how you define sin. I’ve come to understand that sin is what Adam and Eve did in the garden, what King David did when he killed Bathsheba’s husband, it’s simply living against the will of God and “doing our own thing” while thumbing our nose to God and saying, “God you do your thing and I’ll do mine and don’t bug me while I’m doing it.”

For example, in the Lord’s Prayer, the idea of sin is covered in the first few words, “Our Father, holy is your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” My father means that God is all I’ll ever need, and in those days, a father was the commander of his family, what he said went. God is the King in His Kingdom. He is the King over us. If He says jump, we say “how high.” His will is for us to love Him with all of our heart and to love others like we want to be loved ourselves. That’s it. That’s His will for us on earth. He’s the king telling us to love Him and others.

If we say, “Oh, no, I’m not doing that, forget it, I’m looking out for number one, me!” Then, we are sinning against the King and we will receive the punishment of the King. For me, I surrendered to the King and I use His power within me, His Spirit, and I accept His ultimate gift of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to love Him with my whole heart. (Romans 10: 9, 10)

For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.

I crave for Him everyday, to know Him and the power of His resurrection. Through Him, I have freedom from lust, complaining, and many other areas of my life by hiding His living word within my heart. He does set us free from selfishness when we totally submit to His greatest law of loving Him and others. A free man is a man who is free from his own selfishness and then, he is free to love others by serving them. (Galatians 5:13)

For you have been called to live in freedom – not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.

Recently, I received a card in the mail from my wife. In it, she said that she loved me, that every year of our marriage was more fulfilling, and that she appreciated some of my recent attitudes and actions. There were not hints of hidden expectations in the card. She didn’t ask for a thing, but she sure made me want to do more for her.

Through the years, Norma’s “no beg” attitude has inspired me to search for creative ways to express my love to her. And it all started with some tattered furniture in the early years of our marriage.

Norma was sick and tired of the pitiful “late garage” style furniture we owned. For months she asked me to replace it. “Gary, it’s just awful. I’m so embarrassed when our friends come over, we need to get new furniture!”

I felt like a slave to her expectations. No matter what I do, she’ll never be satisfied, I actually thought. I’m not about to buy her any new furniture with that attitude (What a domineering spirit I had then!)

The one day it dawned on me. She hasn’t said a word about that furniture for over a year. She hasn’t even dropped hints about it. Sure enough, Norma had completely given up her expectations to the Lord (Ps. 62:1-2). She started focusing more attention on God-filled happiness rather than Stuff-filled happiness. At that moment I was willing to do anything for her. I was so grateful for her attitude that I asked her how much money she would like to withdraw from our savings account for new furniture. Then we marched down to the local furniture store and bought a couch, lamps, tables, chairs. . . . Of coarse after we purchased all the furniture we couldn’t afford the house to put it in

Norma’s complaints accomplished nothing, but her non-demanding patience accomplished everything. Around our house we’ve noticed several factors make it easier for any family member to change: expressing the change you desire to see without attaching a time limit; showing appreciation for the slightest move toward change; showing acceptance and love regardless of change.

“Lord, I ask that you loosen my grip on the things that I think I need. Then fill my open hands with the things You know I need.”

But as I read the Bible, it seems that all three (His Spirit, His Son, and His Word) are equal and needed in our life in order to become conformed into His image. We need all three. Jesus paid the price for our sin through His death, taught us and was raised to life so that we might be saved. Jesus sent His Spirit to us after He was raised to remind us of His Words and empower us. Lastly, He gave us the written word for instructions of how to live and to reprove us. And as we hide His Word in our heart, His Word forms our beliefs and our beliefs manage all of our thoughts, words and actions. That tells me that His Word is extremely important!

When I think back to how I became a Christian, His written Words were preached to me at a church and it convicted me. My early Bible studies with other boys and men during the first few years of my Christian growth centered on studying His Word. Why didn’t anyone I have walked with for over 50 years ever tell me the importance of “hiding” His Word in to my heart? I was encouraged to memorize the Word, but not “Hide” it in my heart. We as Christians have the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And thank God we also have His written Words. In fact, Jesus is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, the Word was God and it became flesh and dwelt among us. (John 1:1 & 14)

The Word of God is sharper than any two edged sword and it’s living and truth. Sounds to me like the Words of God are very important. I certainly have a higher opinion than I used to because as I have been hiding His Words within my heart.

But as I read the Bible, it seems that all three (His Spirit, His Son, and His Word) are equal and needed in our life in order to become conformed into His image. We need all three. Jesus paid the price for our sin through His death, taught us and was raised to life so that we might be saved. Jesus sent His Spirit to us after He was raised to remind us of His Words and empower us. Lastly, He gave us the written word for instructions of how to live and to reprove us. And as we hide His Word in our heart, His Word forms our beliefs and our beliefs manage all of our thoughts, words and actions. That tells me that His Word is extremely important!

When I think back to how I became a Christian, His written Words were preached to me at a church and it convicted me. My early Bible studies with other boys and men during the first few years of my Christian growth centered on studying His Word. Why didn’t anyone I have walked with for over 50 years ever tell me the importance of “hiding” His Word in to my heart? I was encouraged to memorize the Word, but not “Hide” it in my heart. We as Christians have the Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And thank God we also have His written Words. In fact, Jesus is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, the Word was God and it became flesh and dwelt among us. (John 1:1 & 14)

The Word of God is sharper than any two edged sword and it’s living and truth. Sounds to me like the Words of God are very important. I certainly have a higher opinion than I used to because as I have been hiding His Words within my heart.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. (New Living Translation)

Thank God for the Holy Spirit’s power, love, fulfillment and life that grows within you with each painful experience. II Corinthians 12:9,10

Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. 10 Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (New Living Translation)

Allow your mind to be renewed by God’s Holy Spirit for at least one month. Romans 12:2

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. (New Living Translation)

Ephesians 3:16-20
I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner (unlimited) strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.

1 John 5:11-13
And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. So whoever has God’s Son has life; whoever does not have his Son does not have life. I write this to you who believe in the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (New International Version)
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Proverbs 23:7
For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

Galatians 6:7 (New American Standard Bible)
Don’t be misled. Remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow!

James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Philippians 4:8-9
And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.

Ephesians 4:29
Don’t use foul or abusive (dishonoring) language. Let everything you say be good and helpful (honoring), so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

James 3:2
We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way.

Romans 5:3-5
We can rejoice (boast, exalt), too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us–they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

James 1:2-4
Dear brothers and sisters,[1] whenever trouble comes your way, start thinking about all of the joy you will soon receive. 3For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character an ready for anything. (Boast about your trials because Christ is perfecting his character, power and love within you through each trial)

2 Corinthians 12;9-10
Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” (Just imagine that Christ’s power is perfected in your through your weaknesses) So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Colossians 3:16-17 (New American Standard Bible)
Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Romans 12:10 (New American Standard Bible)
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

James 4:6-7 (New American Standard Bible)
But He gives a greater grace Therefore it says, “GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” Submit therefore to God Resist the devil and he will flee from you.