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4 ways to deal with difficult people (Episode 42)

Michael Smalley — Tue, 08 May 2012 21:33:11 +0000

Learn 4 ways you can handle difficult people. (Of course I got this from an original list of 7 ways at PsychologyToday.com….but that is what the Smalley Podcast is all about, making things simpler!)

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7 Ways to Defuse a Difficult Encounter

Having learned the hard way, Vancouver physician (and PT blogger) Susan Biali offers concrete steps for dealing with unreasonable person.
(http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life)

Minimize time with problem people.  [I always say “short and simple”]
Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish them to be. There are people in our lives who have moments when they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend/whatever we’ve always wanted. Yet they end up disappointing or hurting us. Accepting the person as is can be a remarkable relief.
Avoid topics that get you into trouble. Before any interaction with a difficult person, mentally review the topics that invite attack and make an effort to avoid them. If your in-laws always demean your choice of career, change the topic immediately if they ask how your work is going.
Don’t try to get them to see your point of view. Don’t try to explain yourself or get them to empathize with you.They won’t. And you’ll just feel worse for trying.

The problem with difficult people, for me, is that they don’t want to change. Please pay attention to #1!

I was speaking to a group of youth pastors….when out on a date with your spouse, how do you tell someone who’s called you and has an emergency that you can’t come and help them? Don’t answer the phone!

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What every parent of a teenager needs to hear (Episode 34)

Michael Smalley — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 10:00:50 +0000

I had a wonderful conversation with my 15-year old son, Cole, today in the jacuzzi. I couldn’t believe the advice he told me to give every parent of a teenage son! You won’t want to miss this episode if you’re a parent.

A Smalley Short: Parenting 101 on bitterness

Michael Smalley — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 17:06:06 +0000

Hi, I’m Michael Smalley, and this is 60 seconds of inspiration for your relationship.

Have you asked your kids how you’re doing lately as a parent? Now pick your jaw up off the floor and give me a few more seconds to convince you why this is an important question to ask your children.

You are not perfect, which means your parenting will not be perfect, which means your kids will have issues with some of the things you do from time to time. An incredible gift you can give your kids is the gift of freedom from bitterness.

When you ask them, “how am I doing as a parent?” You are giving them an opportunity to share anything that is bothering them. Receive it, ask forgiveness, and then let them know that you love them and are committed to them for life!

This has been a Smalley Short, find more at smalleypodcast.com.

Smalley Podcast response to 23 million viewed parenting video (Episode 22)

Michael Smalley — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:30:03 +0000

Michael Smalley responds to the parenting technique displayed on the latest YouTube sensation with over 23 million views after just 6 days. Tommy Jordan might want to listen to this one to make sure he makes different parenting choices.

EPISODE 22
Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.

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KEY VERSE

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

NOTES

The newest YouTube sensation is the Facebook Parenting video by Tommy Jordan, a frustrated father wanting to get his daugther’s attention….the question for me is, is this going to work?

People commenting on his video are saying things like: Tommy for President! Great parenting you show her who pays the bills!!!

I totally understand the guys point of view, she doesn’t need to post her problems on fb and it’s the second time she had done it so obviously she had it coming.

Great respect for you sir.

Here’s my problem with the video:

He’s responding immaturely to her immaturity….that never works
He stuck to the facts, and didn’t even try to get to the feelings
Punishments tend to be worthless if the child doesn’t know about them in advance

Parenting hero? No. Typical example of the parent trying to do the right thing, but blowing it with their strategy.

NEXT EPISODE

I will shoot my outdoor refrigerator because it stopped working and I’m just plan mad about it!

THIS EPISODE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY
The Smalley Center, find out why over 96% of our former clients would recommend our 1, 2, or 3 day marriage intensive to a friend or family member in need of help. Rediscover happiness at SmalleyCenter.com.

Keep your family safe and experience accountability (Episode 18)

Michael Smalley — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:34:21 +0000

Michael shares about a new website shared with him that can help keep your family safe and he talks about the importance of accountability for a family.