Secondly, what are your top two beliefs or truths that you think everyone should have inside themselves or hold onto with great respect? I will pick some winners to receive my latest book, signed of course, As Long As You Both Shall Live.

Thanks for helping me with this new project, and I can’t wait to utilize your input!

The basic premise of our book is that you don’t have to kiss dating goodbye, in fact, if you learn how to honor God, others, and yourself then you can actually have a great dating experience that prepares you very well for marriage!  We take a pro dating stance in our book and then help young adults learn how to set up the right boundaries to keep themselves safe and protected while dating.

Here’s the chapters:

1. Let’s Hear It for Dating
2. Making a List and Checking It Twice
3. It’s All in Your Personality
4. Dating 101
5. Sex and the City
6. Staying Safe While Dating
7. Keeping Emotional Boundaries
8. What If Mr. or Ms. Right Turns Out to Be All Wrong?

As you can see the book is very applicable and straightforward. I think the best feedback we’ve been given over the years is that people really appreciate our openness and honesty. Amy and I are very transparent in the book and do not take a position of talking down to young adults, but rather, we respect them and believe they can make healthy choices in their dating relationships if they are given the chance.

The reason behind wanting a new title is that the church, in general, wasn’t ready for a Christian book to have the word “naked” in the title.  I was a bit ahead of the curve on that one =]  The book still did extremely well, and has been in print since 2003.  But now we get a chance to spruce things up, expand and deliberate on what we’ve learned since initially writing the book and put a new cover on it as well.

So let us know what you think would be a great title for the book.  If a title is chosen, the winner can have the choice of whatever they want from our online store (one item only) and of course a signed copy of the new look book!

If you want to preorder Faithbook of Jesus now, please click on the Amazon.com link below:

One of our friends is Renee Johnson, who is getting close to releasing a great devotional book titled, “The Faithbook of Jesus”.  You can pre order the book here. Check out some of these endorsements for her book:

“Faithbook of Jesus” is a powerful and creative tool to reach out to 20-somethings to draw them into a daily relationship with God. I encourage everyone to pick up a copy. – Josh McDowell, Leading Apologist/Evangelist. Author of over 77 books, 49 million copies sold

“As Senior Pastor of a church known for its young following, I see the power 20-something’s can have when they truly connect with God and seek His Will for their lives. This is a book for young people to draw closer to the heart of God. I encourage everyone to pick up a copy of “Faithbook of Jesus” today”. – Miles McPherson, Senior Pastor of the Rock Church, San Diego

We’ve worked with Renee for a while now and really appreciate her heart for wanting to inspire people to draw closer to Christ!

My daughter has hated me since the age of 15. she was a wonderful loving child and got involved with a controlling guy that she married at 18. she is only 18 now, dumped and divorced from this guy after a few months. it was a horrible time but she loves his mother still and wants me out of her life. i have tried to get along with her but she is nasty and disrespectful and i wont take it. i have 3 older children who treat me with respect and I wont let Anna treat me differently. I cant seem to reason with her. she refuses to talk about the past because it makes her feel bad, i want her to get help because she is full of hate and bitterness. I pray for her as does many, but her heart only seems to get harder.

Watch the answer Michael Smalley gives this hurting mother.

For marriage choices it narrows down to two critical things every married individual must exercise: unconditional love and personal responsibility. Unconditional love means you accept and cherish your mate as he or she is. Personal responsibility means you take charge of correcting your own faults instead of your mate’s. That, in a nutshell, is it. Intimacy, happiness, growth, communication and all the other vital aspects of a good marriage grow out of these two choices. If both partners recognize this fact, there will be no victims in the marriage. Each person’s happiness will rest entirely in his or her own hands. And the end result is the safety and security that every marriage must have in order to thrive.

Do you believe this? Really believe this? Since it’s my contention that all behavior is a result of what we believe, this is a crucial question. Do you believe that you can take personal responsibility for the success of your marriage? If you don’t, then you must believe the opposite—that your spouse or circumstances are in control of what happens to you. You must believe that you are a victim. Therefore you must react and put the blame on your mate when the marriage does not meet your expectations. This is a tragedy, because when you blame your mate you not only divest yourself of your responsibility, you also reduce the choices you have to change the relationship. You forfeit the ability to control your own destiny.

So if you want your marriage to be the most exciting and rewarding journey of your life, the question to ask is not whether your mate is doing enough to make the marriage work, but rather: Are you loving your mate unconditionally by taking responsibility for your role in the relationship? A good way to turn this intention into a commitment is to make a promise of it. Promise to look at yourself first, to take responsibility for your own part of the marriage, and to stop trying to change your mate. Such a promise puts legs on unconditional love. It says you are willing to put your personal dreams and needs on hold for a while and make what’s best for the relationship a priority.

Hamming it up, I told the young kids to give me a count down. Five…Four…Three…Two…One…Blastoff! I turned the ignition and away from the dock we flew like a rocket ship from its launch pad. I overheard the five-year-old boy say to his father, “This is the coolest boat on the lake!” I loved it. I was in boat heaven. But then something happened; the engine stopped and we started losing speed.
“Don’t worry everyone; I’ll have this fixed in a second.” I turned the ignition key several times and the engine roared back to life. Once again we were off. But then it happened again. The engine died. What was going on? This pattern of the engine starting and stopping went on for the next few minutes. I checked the gas level, oil, and anything else I could possibly think of to create the illusion that I knew what I was doing. But no matter what I did, shortly after I’d get the engine running, it would die.

“Why won’t this boat work!” My voice boomed across the lake. I was completely frustrated and totally embarrassed. “Nothing is made with quality any more.” I wanted to sink that stupid boat right then and there, but I figured that drowning a missionary wouldn’t help my reputation.

That’s when Greg said, “Hey, Dad, what’s this cord for? Every time I pull it, the engine stops.” And then he started laughing. That cord was the emergency engine kill. I had been ready to blow up my boat, while all along it had been Greg playing a practical joke on me. At that moment I understood how it was possible for Abraham to place his son upon an altar.

For a boat, or anything electrical to function as it was designed, it needs to be connected to a power source. If human relationships are to function as they were designed, they too need to be connected to a power source. It’s as if you have a built-in battery that needs daily charges to keep you feeling complete and satisfied. For a long time I believed that I could keep that battery charged if I just plugged a 110-volt electrical cord into other people or my wife. Many of us enter marriage looking to our mate as the source of that power charge. We think, “Now that I have this person in my life, I am really going to have my needs met and be happy.” We ultimately find, however, that our mates cannot recharge our battery. Indeed, husbands and wives can be frustrating and irritating and drain away more emotional energy than they give. Our mates can be tremendous sources of help and encouragement, but if we expect them to be the source of our happiness, they are sure to disappoint us in the long run.

When coming face-to-face with this inevitable disappointment, many people assume they must have married the wrong person. Some may resort to an affair to recharge their battery. The stolen charge may light up the circuits for a moment, but after the glow fades they will feel emptier and more miserable than before. Even if they divorce and remarry the “right person,” they will encounter the same frustration. The problem is not in the person they marry; it is in their expectations that that person will make them happy and keep them charged day after day. Wrong.

Sooner or later we run headlong into an inescapable fact: no person on earth is capable of giving us the fulfillment we crave. We can never plug in to enough people to keep our lives filled with the happiness we want. It’s no wonder so many people consider suicide as a way out. By depending on people to make us happy, we not only miss the positive emotions we crave, we also saddle ourselves with the very negative emotions we want to avoid—deep frustration, disappointment, hurt feelings, worry, anxiety, fear, unrest, uncertainty, and confusion. These emotions are the inevitable result of depending on a person, place, or thing for your fulfillment. Bottom line: We’re just not wired to plug into other people as our power source. God made a way for us to find fulfillment and true happiness. God created us. God designed us for a relationship with Him. But the power cord must be connected through His son Jesus Christ. Jesus himself said he was the way to connect to God.

Here’s an excerpt from the back of the book:

“The Psychology of Santa” examines decades of psychological research, as well as studies in sociology, communication, history, and advertising, all of which deal with Christmas. The book examines what research can reveal to us about how psychologists and others view these customs and what they represent to our culture. A number of aspects of Christmas are explored, and this book offers an intriguing interpretation of our lives and customs. Topics covered in this title include how Christmas is celebrated during wars, a history of selected customs and whether families today still engage in them, how different traditions of psychologists view Christmas, Christmas and stress, Christmas and depression and suicide, children’s letters to Santa Claus, and children’s beliefs in Santa and how they change with age.

But what I found most interesting was that the biggest priority for children was to spend more time with their family!  It’s not the hottest and latest toy, but rather what truly matters in life, time with family.

What’s on your Christmas list this year? Let us know below…

The thought:

We teach our children weekly that the three most important things in life are to honor God, honor others, and honor ourselves. This morning we are focusing on honoring God.

The questions:

1. Why is it important to honor God?
2. What does giving God honor as a family look like?
3. How does God honor us?

It is next to impossible to have an open heart, receptive to God’s will, if we are in serious conflict with others. God desires a sincere gift, not tarnished with unreconciled differences and past hurts. We are responsible to make sure people we have offended, or been offended by, are freed from the bondage’s of anger, vengeance, or hate.

So is anyone excluded from receiving our forgiveness? According to Matthew 5:44-48, even our enemies are worthy of forgiveness:

“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”.What a verse! Again it touches on the very nature of our incredible God who is merciful and gracious to all. We are called to be perfect, “as your heavenly Father is perfect”. Understanding that we cannot be perfect while existing on this planet, the verse is calling us to strive for Christ’s perfection. Christ’s willingness to love those who were unlovable. To care for those who were prostitutes, thieves, and yes, even tax collectors. To forgive those who most offend us. Why our enemies? God knows how much unresolved anger kills the spirit within, and designs this command to help free us from eternal regret.

No one is to be excluded from our forgiveness. Some of the greatest verses exploring the complexity of forgiveness are Romans 12:14-21. We will quote the passage at length because of their foundational quality regarding forgiveness:

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live I harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary:
‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’”.We are encouraged to bless people who persecute us. To some Christians, and probably many nonChristians, this seems very masochistic. Bless our enemies! Sure, if we were Christ maybe we could pull that off, but we are human. Remember, being human means we are created in God’s image, therefore we have the capacity to pull this off. Trust in God that this humanitarian rule serves to better the human condition rather than defile it. Think of all the hate crimes that never seem to find a resolution. This idea of blessing reminds us of turning the other cheek. Evil begets evil and love begets love.

In the passage we also read, “In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head”. When I first read this passage I imagined that forgiveness and love toward those who hurt us is painful for the perpetrator. My mind wanted to believe that loving and forgiving made evil people suffer. However, this was not Christ’s message. In further study I learned the custom of placing hot coals on someone’s head was actually a kind gesture. A surprise to me! I’m not sure how I would receive someone placing hot coals on my head. But it was a different time.

Placing coals on someone’s head was helpful because it kept the weary traveler warm throughout the cold desert nights. It was a way of honoring someone. This is why we are commanded to forgive. Remember the “Golden Rule”? We need to do for others what we would want done to us. Would we want someone to refuse to forgive us because we sinned against him or her?

Researchers in Taiwan examined the relationship between psychiatric symptoms and Internet addiction in 2,162 junior high students over a period of two years.  About 11% of study participants were classified as having an Internet addiction in the initial assessment.

Chih-Hung Ko, MD and colleagues from Kaohsiung Medical University Hospital in Kaohsiung City, Taiwan found that being male, playing online games, and using the Internet daily for more than 20 hours a week were risk factors for addiction.

Over the two-year follow-up, ADHD was the most significant predictor, followed by hostility. For boys, hostility was the greatest predictor, and for girls ADHD was the greatest predictor. Social phobia and depression were predictors only in girls.

read the rest via Internet Addiction: Is Your Teen at Risk?.

via Face Off: Misunderstood Expressions Facilitate Adolescent Aggression.

A study published in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology found that the method of control used by parents was significantly related to a child’s aggressive behaviour.

Sofie Kuppens and her colleagues from the Katholieke Universiteit Leuven, Belgium, studied the amount of physical aggression and relational aggression (the purposeful manipulation or damage to relationships) used by 600 children aged between 8 and 10 and compared this to parents’ use of physical punishment and psychological control.

Sofie Kuppens said: “As well as using discipline or rewards to control or manage a child’s behaviour, some parents also use psychological control which may include emotional manipulation, criticism or excessive personal control.

“As children learn and adopt behaviour from their parents, we wanted to see whether children whose parents use psychological control strategies are more likely to use relational aggression – the purposeful manipulation or damage to relationships, through silent treatment, social exclusion, or spreading of malicious rumours for example.”

via Parental Method Of Contol Linked To Child’s Aggressive Behaviour.