1. Acts of service
2. Quality time
3. Gifts
4. Physical touch
5. Words of affirmation

I’m curious about which is your top love language.  So take the poll and let me know which of the 5 love languages is most important to you.

Our expectations were to hit Branson at around 6pm, barbecue with my family, and then have a couple of days in Branson to play before going to Kamp. These plans were instantly changed as we sat in a parking lot trying to get a hold of a transmission repair guy. Now I want (need) to be honest at this point, so with full disclosure, my attitude stunk big time! I snapped at my wife, my children, and some poor woman driving in front of me completely clueless to why I was honking at her to get moving through the light before the van died again.

The question is, why did I get upset and snap at my family and a random female driver? Because reality and my expectations were too far a part. Is it bad to have expectations? No, not necessarily. But how are we to handle ourselves when our expectations are not met? That is the key to a healthy relationship.

It is unrealistic to think our expectations are always going to be met, because they will not. Instead of blowing up at my family and a random female driver, I could have done the following:

* Taken a time-out
This is easily the best thing we can do when our expectations are not met. We need time to gather ourselves and to begin the process of choosing the best reaction possible. If you do not take the time to think about your reactions, your reactions will most likely be hurtful and immature (i.e. honking at a random female driver). A time-out gives you perspective and also gives time for the Holy Spirit to give you guidance in how you could respond.

* Adjusted my expectations on the fly
The moment I realized that my expectations were not going to be met, I could have begun the process of adjusting my expectations. I could have realized that getting to Branson on Friday was no longer possible, so how could I make the best out of the current situation. Asking yourself the question, “How can I make the best out of this situation?” is a great way to adjust expectations.

* Prayed
I know, prayer always seems to be the answer, but guess what, it always is the answer! I think the evil one wants us to feel like mentioning prayer is trivial, but it is not, and should always be utilized when things get out-of-hand. I could have cried out to God in my moment of need and let the Holy Spirit do the job the Holy Spirit does, to influence and guide me through the fog of unmet expectations.

The best thing we can do is focus on what we need to change. Even if we do not feel like our spouse is responding, we still have to do the right thing when it comes to our own behaviors and attitudes!

So leave us a comment on what you wish you could change about yourself below.

April 15, 2010 — Despite saving us time, fast food may make us impatient and more likely to seek instant gratification, new research finds.

University of Toronto researchers Chen-Bo Zhong, PhD, and Sanford E. DeVoe, PhD, conducted a trio of experiments before coming to that conclusion in a report published in Psychological Science.

The first experiment found that exposure to fast-food symbols increases reading speed even when there’s no pressure to read fast. In the experiment, they randomly assigned 57 college students to look at the center of a computer screen but ignore the corners. Those in the fast-food group were exposed to fast-food logos, flashed in the corners too quickly for the conscious mind to register the images. Those in the comparison group looked at blank squares in the corners. Next, when they all read a passage, those exposed to the logos had a faster reading speed.

You can read the whole article here.

Jody Schoger felt utterly alone, “curled up like a turtle” in her hospital bed, where she was fighting a life-threatening infection after breast cancer surgery.

read the rest here…

http://smalley.cc/help-your-marriage/special-free-downloads

These are my top verses that I have memorized and meditate on daily! You can also find a lot of other really cool things to download there as well…so make sure and check it out.

FIND OUR GROUP HERE (the group name is ‘SmalleyMadness’)

http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/group?groupID=45671

HERE’S THE PASSWORD TO JOIN THE GROUP:

smalley

That’s all you need to join the fun and get the chance to win a great relationship resource package!  Please feel free to visit this post often to leave comments for each other, trash talking is welcomed (of course keeping it clean). =]

The basic premise of our book is that you don’t have to kiss dating goodbye, in fact, if you learn how to honor God, others, and yourself then you can actually have a great dating experience that prepares you very well for marriage!  We take a pro dating stance in our book and then help young adults learn how to set up the right boundaries to keep themselves safe and protected while dating.

Here’s the chapters:

1. Let’s Hear It for Dating
2. Making a List and Checking It Twice
3. It’s All in Your Personality
4. Dating 101
5. Sex and the City
6. Staying Safe While Dating
7. Keeping Emotional Boundaries
8. What If Mr. or Ms. Right Turns Out to Be All Wrong?

As you can see the book is very applicable and straightforward. I think the best feedback we’ve been given over the years is that people really appreciate our openness and honesty. Amy and I are very transparent in the book and do not take a position of talking down to young adults, but rather, we respect them and believe they can make healthy choices in their dating relationships if they are given the chance.

The reason behind wanting a new title is that the church, in general, wasn’t ready for a Christian book to have the word “naked” in the title.  I was a bit ahead of the curve on that one =]  The book still did extremely well, and has been in print since 2003.  But now we get a chance to spruce things up, expand and deliberate on what we’ve learned since initially writing the book and put a new cover on it as well.

So let us know what you think would be a great title for the book.  If a title is chosen, the winner can have the choice of whatever they want from our online store (one item only) and of course a signed copy of the new look book!

LADIES ONLY PLEASE

The 100th survey filled out wins The Comedy of Love DVD by me! It’s my first comedy show ever, and I think you’ll enjoy it (at least I hope you will).

[Leave a comment with your ideas and get entered to win a copy of "Joy that Lasts", a great resource when things get tough!]

Michael and I are heart-broken over the lost lives in Haiti. I’m writing this article for accountability and prayer. Our family wants to care for the orphans and widows in Haiti. We are not sure what this looks like yet, but we know our first step is getting our paper work and training done to become a foster family.

I would like to challenge all of us to find a way to help Haiti that fits your family. We’ve opened our home to big sisters before, now we’re feeling the urgency from the Holy Spirit to DO SOMETHING. I hope we have the pleasure of being used by God in this way. We are looking for direction and are open to many possibilities. I think it’s hard to even ask for prayers for us when they are needed for survival in Haiti- but as you are praying for Haiti- pray for clear direction and movement of supplies and care. God is good – even in disaster! I pray we can live a life worthy of our calling.

HELLO Dear Friends and Family

FIRST – thank you for continuing to pray!!! LOTS of great GOD things happening – can’t wait to share, right now they are happening too fast to do that. I will let you know more when I know more.

We are working hard on getting the word out about ORPHANS, what can be done to get them to families and getting Louis HOME.

Thanks to a friend in the media we have been contacted by several news sources and have a platform to advocate for our child and others. http://nwahomepage.com/content/fulltextfox?cid=145162 (Link to our local news interview).

We have interviews that should air as following: (times listed are CST)

CNN – Friday Night 6-7pm
FOX and FRIENDS – Saturday Morning 5:20am central time live interview
Geraldo Show – 9pm (the producer has said they would like to find Louis and then allow us to see him on TV)

Please pray that the US Government would act swiftly to find a way for children who are already adopted by US citizens to immediately leave Haiti and join their families. Please also pray for the bigger picture that includes more children finding families.

Many have asked how to give or make a difference for Haiti… These are my recommendations for giving that we have personal connections to:

1. Worldwide Village – www.worldwidevillage.com

A. In Allocation line type the name “Livesay Family”- This family is living & serving in Haiti. Troy & Tara Livesay are friends of the Tugwells. Please check out their blog www.livesayhaiti.blogspot.com They have helped us with adoption related matters periodically – Tara even thought seriously about taking Silas in their home when we were denied immigration. They delivered wipes and diapers to us in Haiti even when they were facing a personal crisis. They are remarkable REAL people who love God.

B. In Allocation line type the words “earthquake relief”- Any funds will be used for food, medicine and relief efforts. This ministry will begin Monday to send a group of physicians with the food & medicine to run mobile medical clinics in Port Au Prince. The trips will last 10 days with groups going back to back. If you know a Dr. or RN that is desiring to go to Haiti to help you may contact this ministry. The Livesay’s are helping to coordinate this effort.

3. Heartline Ministries – heartlineministries.org -The Livesay Family also works with this ministry. This ministry will be providing food & medical relief. John and Beth McHoul have been in Haiti since 1989. Also great people with big hearts. John also keeps it real on his blog – very inspiring.

4. Project Hope – www.projecthope.org

Project HOPE is responding in Haiti with antibiotics, medical supplies, bandages and staff on the ground. The only way we can respond so quickly is because of past donations from supporters like you. When you donate to Project HOPE, you make it possible for us to respond to disasters around the globe, as well as get medical care to those who need it. We personally know the former director of Project Hope – he is a physician who is currently traveling to Haiti on the first trip of the USS Comfort. Noel and I will possibly have the opportunity to serve with Project Hope. Others can apply to volunteer as well.

5. LATER – The Titus Task – www.thetitustask.com

We are praying and seeking God in what He will have us do with our connections and love for Haiti and its children. We are asking God to allow us to be part of a movement where orphaned children in Haiti would find forever families in the US. As a friend wrote to me today…for His Spirit to move and provide miracle after miracle. It is a small world and we serve a BIG GOD! We are praying about taking donations for The Titus Task to designate specifically for Haitian children and their adoption. Seems like a great way to remember Titus!

THANK YOU for all of your support, love, and friendship to our family. Thank you for your prayers. We still need them and we feel them every day – we know Louis must too:-) We have certainly been shown the image of what God called the church to be to each other this week – some have called-emailed-facebooked, some have stopped by, some have cooked, some have cleaned, some have done laundry, some have “assisted”, all have encouraged, all have prayed. THANK YOU!

This is the last email update I will send for a while as other “social media networks” seem more efficient – and more people can be updated and give
updates. I will try to update the blog www.tuglor.blogspot.com. If you are not a member of facebook – it is a great way to get information disseminated quickly – it has been so helpful this week. It is free. Lisa has set up a Facebook group that anyone can join – Louis Tugwell – From Haiti to Home.

Love to all -
Lori
For all of us at home and in Haiti!