As women, how can we set ourselves up to be safe in public? I was out jogging today and I passed by about 10 or so construction workers and I thought… I’m vulnerable. I can run but I don’t think I can out run all of them. These thoughts came into my mind, hopefully they are helpful for you to think about:

1. Make eye contact with each man (or woman) and say good morning. The psychos out there use people as objects and don’t want to see you as real. By looking at these men in the eyes I want to communicate I am a person and I see you. I acknowledge you as a person, now you do the same and don’t look at me like an object.
2. I dress appropriately. It’s hot and I know my clothes will stick to me so I try to dress in colors that aren’t see through or too tight. I have to be honest, I like to look cute when I jog- but cute can still be appropriate. When in doubt about my attire, I ask Michael. He’s honest and not too picky.
3. I don’t look back- when I’m jogging I don’t look to see if the men behind me are watching me more than I’d like. I don’t want to give them more amo, like I like it. A man wouldn’t look back so I don’t either.
4. I don’t engage in long conversations in the gym. When I start talking about my passions and interests I’ve gone too far. Keep it friendly but simple.
5. I want my non verbals to communicate I honor myself and my marriage. I try to carry myself with unseen boundaries. You know when you feel like someone is busy and you shouldn’t really want interrupt- that’s them message I try to send.

These are just a few of my ideas. Does anyone else have more they would like to add?

I love CBS Sunday Morning News because they typically do creative and interesting stories and rarely paint a bleak picture of the people and planet we live on. However, on Sunday while doing a “remember her” profile story on Bea Arthur, CBS felt it was important to include a scene from an episode of Maude where Bea Arthur gets permission from her stage husband to have an abortion.

Apparently, Maude got pregnant at the age of 40, but did not want to be pregnant. So the show highlighted her “right” to have an abortion and took a very strong pro abortion stance. I hate abortion (and not the women who choose to have them) and the clip that CBS chose to show just highlighted one of the main reasons why I hate abortion.

The only reason the character Maude wanted to have an abortion was because it was inconvenient for her at 40-years old. She was married, healthy and perfectly able financially (not that the lack of any of these things would ever justify an abortion) to have the child. But she did not want to because it would be a hassle to her at her age.

This highlights the grotesque and selfish nature of abortion. Again, I have counseled young ladies who’ve been raped or molested and chose to have an abortion. I get that young women every day get tricked in to thinking that the abortion will be no big deal and that it will solve their problems. I truly grieve for women who go through an abortion because I’ve seen the other side – the side of hurt, shame, guilt and sorrow as a result of the decision.

But to highlight a scene where the woman simply feels like the child would be a hassle was irresponsible and displayed poor judgment by CBS producers. When are we going to realize that it never pays to be selfish. Satan was the first example of what self-centeredness can lead to, but yet we keep on keeping on when it comes to selfishness.

The world will be a better place when each one of us chooses to think of others (before ourselves) and act in a way that builds each other up rather than destroying each other.

No one likes divorce, especially a guy who works very hard at helping couples to avoid it. But there are literally millions of couples and families dealing with the hurtful effects from divorce, and I need to do a better job reaching out and posting specific articles, research, and other helpful tips for couples who want to be successful in their second (or more) marriages.

Our intensive program is full of couples who are on their second marriage. Even though I have not experienced divorce myself, I do get the chance to work many hours with the effects and special issues of second marriages and stepfamilies through our Marriage Restoration Intensive program.

How do you ensure a successful second marriage? Easy. Work. Education. Work. Patience. Work. More education. Lots more work. And tons of grace. I’m not trying to be goofy, but the very real reality is that second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first marriages. My simplified understanding to this problem is because of the amount of hurt, conflict, and stress the second marriage begins with.

If you want to be successful at your second marriage then you are going to have to put in the time to love each other well and learn each others’ love language (check out Gary Chapman’s book on this). But here are three concrete things you can do to make your second marriage a success:

1. Recognize what you did wrong in the first marriage and fix that immediately.
   You were not perfect, even if you were only at fault for 20% of the problems in your first marriage, you need to spend 100% of your time fixing that 20%.  Whatever dysfunction you had in the first marriage will not magically disappear in your second marriage.  Negative patterns and behaviors have a way of repeating themselves.  Your new marriage will have its own set of issues, so please do not bring in old issues.
2. Learn new ways of dealing with hurt feelings (LUV Talk), anger (LUV Talk), and unmet expectations (LUV Talk).
   LUV Talk is our communication method that you can learn through Embrace, The DNA of Relationships, or Don’t Date Naked and More than a Match.  When things go wrong you need a strict way of communicating feelings and needs.  You need a system to follow in order to keep the conversation safe and productive.  But let me just say this, one of the greatest things you can do when you experience a negative reaction is to simply take a time-out.  This is not permission to withdraw or avoid, but simply permission to say something like, “I am really upset right now and I need about an hour to calm down.  Can we talk in an hour?”
3. Give your stepchildren a break and simply take a big breath.
   One of the most stressful things about a second marriage are the stepkids.  This is not a slam on stepchildren, but rather a reality of second marriages.  Kids from divorce usually do not like the fact that their parents got divorced.  This anger and sadness carries itself in to the stepfamily.  Relax.  Give the kids room to be hurt and upset.  Work on validating any feelings or needs that come out (even if they do it unfairly or angrily).  They need time to adjust to the new family and forcing them to like the new parent will never work out in your best interest.

Well what do you think?  Do these three ideas seem possible?  You can make a second marriage work, it just takes work.  Do not give up, another divorce is only going to make things even more difficult and more painful.  You can do this and you will if you work at becoming more loving and caring toward your spouse and children.

What does love mean to you?  What does love REALLY mean to you?  Through the centuries love has been defined in many different ways.  When I look around at American weddings and marriages, I am starting to see a very disturbing trend developing. Love is beginning to look a lot like happiness.  Many people I encounter through our MRI program and as a pastor believe the following, “If I am happy, then I am loving.”  Love has become the result of how we feel and whether or not we are experiencing joy and happiness.

So if I am in a relationship where I feel good and am being treated well, then I  love.  This kind of thinking is beginning to seriously undermine the health of all relationships in America (not just marriages but parents to children and children to parents and so forth).  In essence, love follows good feelings.

This kind of view toward love is  faulty, however.  My father’s first marriage seminar was titled, Love is a Decision.  That seminar was created more than 35 years ago, but it couldn’t be more relevant for today’s culture.  We need a lot more decisions and a lot less feelings.

In order for a relationship to be successful, you need to be committed to it 100 percent.  I just finished a three-hour session with a couple where the wife told her husband that she is committed to him no matter what, no matter how bad the marriage gets, and no matter what he does (of course this does not mean allowing for affairs or emotional and physical abuse).  He had a hard time accepting her stance for their marriage.  He could not wrap his mind around the fact that even though things were not going the wife’s way, she was still committed.  He said to me, “Why would anyone want to stay in a marriage when they are not happy?”  His question represents, in a dramatic way, what our culture believes about love.  He then went on to say that she is “crazy” for believing this way and turned to me asking, “Do you seriously support her in this?”

Yes. Yes I do.

She made a vow to both her husband and God the day she chose to get married.  That vow means something to the wife, even when things are not going well.  Does love mean never quitting?  Yes it does.  There are no excuses for love.  We can not get to a place where we can justify not loving our spouse or child because of their sinful behavior. As far as I can tell from reading scripture, the bible never gives us an out on quitting love.  Jesus did not quit on us and I believe that Jesus does not want us to quit on others.

Amy had a profound insight last week and this is the perfect time and place to share it with you.  I have been preaching at several churches lately, and my message has included a little bit of direction and understanding on Paul’s view on salvation and Jame’s view on Christians.  When you read any of Paul’s letters where he addresses salvation, you get a clear message that there is nothing you can do to earn salvation.  Salvation is a gift from God and there are no amount of works you can do to ever earn the gift.  We Christians love Paul’s stance and embrace it wholeheartedly.  It is not by works, but by faith that we can come in to a personal and real relationship with Jesus.

But when you read James, he says something that feels very contradictory to what Paul wrote in his letters.  James blatantly writes that it is not by faith but by works.  Are Paul and James contradicting one another?  I know that atheists and Christian haters have argued that through the centuries, but is it true?  Do Paul and James have opposite and opposing views on faith?

The answer is no, and this can easily be discovered by looking at the audience each author was writing to.  Paul was writing to the heathens, gentiles, and basically all of those who were not in a relationship with Christ.  James was writing to fellow Christians.  The audience the two apostles were writing to makes a major impact on understanding their messages.

When James wrote that it is not by faith but by works, he was challenging the Christian that if you believe in Jesus, then you need to prove that belief.  You can not simply say that you believe, but then go on with life and live with bitterness, hatred, or unforgiveness.  When we believe in Jesus, then our attitude and behavior changes, because Jesus is the great healer and changer of lives!  Our works prove our faith!

Amy’s insight was that you can take this same concept and apply it to marriage.  Once I say, “I do”, then my actions need to prove my love for Amy.  I can not assume that Amy feels love, I need to go out there and prove it every day of my life, especially when things are hard.  If Amy had an accident and became paralyzed, does that give me an excuse to leave her because she has so dramatically changed? No.  But that is an easy example.

What if your spouse is making poor financial decisions, watching porn, or simply not being kind to you?  What now?  Do we have the excuse to quit because we are not experiencing the kind of love we had expected when we chose to get married? No. The danger in American society today is that too many people quit because things are simply not going well for them.  This attitude is dangerious, lazy, and weak.

I apologize if this offends you, but I have to say it, I am obligated from my very being to say it.  No matter how tough the situation gets (and again, I’m not talking to those in physcially or emotionally abusive relationships), you have to do the right thing, and the right thing is to always be patient, kind, merciful, gracious, forgiving, and unyeilding in your commitment to others.

Love never quits.

Anyway, he has inspired me to start getting to know you (the reader) far better. I must admit that I have not done a good job at truly discovering what you need this site to be. So I want to change that all immediately, and my first step is this survey.

Please take a couple minutes out of your day to complete this simply survey. It is meant to help me better understand your needs and what you want from a blog about relationships. This will help focus my writing and energy in actually creating posts and tweets that help you have a better relationship.

Thanks again for your support and time in filling out the survey! Many good things will come from this and I am so excited about the future of this blog!

What do you think of this video? You can also check them out at www.nationformarriage.org.

This is the day we celebrate Christ’s defeat over death! He has risen so we can be with Him for eternity.  What was dead is now alive!

I can not help but think about what this also means for your marriages. I know there are so many of you out there that are hurting and discouraged, and probably even feel like your marriage is dead. Please remember Christ in your suffering.  He came to heal the broken-hearted.  His desire is to restore what you or Satan has destroyed.

Give Christ a chance today to address the needs in your marriage and bring healing to your wounded hearts.

You all have been awesome in trying to help choose the new URL for a parenting site idea I had this week! Thanks so much for your insight and time for voting.  After a great (albeit quick) conversation this morning with Amy (not my wife but the owner of the blog MomsToolbox.com) that I needed to give more details on what I want the site to be so you can give even better feedback on a URL.

So here is the big idea, a website dedicated to moms and dads everywhere that will help create a community to better discipline our children.  For example, if your child acts up and freaks out every time you try and go to the mall, you could come to the site and post your issue with the child and then get feedback on effective discipline ideas from other parents from around the world!  How cool would that be.

I feel stuck lots of times when a new issue comes up with one of my kids and I don’t know what an appropriate and effective punishment would be.  With that in mind, here are a few new URL ideas, and once again, if you can think of a better one just leave it as a comment below.

[poll id="6"]

I am getting ready to launch a new website for parents that is going to rock the parenting world! I could not be more excited about a new project than I am about this new website! Have I added enough exclamation points to the paragraph yet to prove just how excited I am? I do not want to give out a ton of details about what this website is going to do to revolutionize parenting, but I do want feedback on potential URL’s.

So let me know which one of the two below you like the most.  If you do not like either of them, then please feel free to leave a comment with a better URL for me to consider.

[poll id="5"]

If you did not like either of those URL’s, then please leave a comment below with a better idea. Remember, criticism without possible solutions is not very nice =]

I ran across this article from The Southtown Star and had to comment.  There is no such thing as a simple divorce! Even though this woman says that they have only been married for 18 months, have no assets, and no children – it will still be difficult.  If I am correct, she has yet to sit down with the lawyer and her husband in the same room.  Trust me, once that happens she will refrase “simple” to “complicated, hurtful, and damaging”.

Q : My husband and I have been married for about 18 months, and we plan to divorce. We have no children, do not have a lot of assets and live with his parents.

We went to a lawyer, and he wants $2,000 to handle the divorce, and we have to get separate attorneys. We cannot afford to get a divorce, and we do not want to stay married. What can we do?

Simple divorce an option :: The SouthtownStar :: Business

If you had asked me three years ago, “Would you ever teach on spiritual warfare?” I would have laughed in your face and told you that spiritual warfare is for weirdos. I was in that much denial about how evil wants to destroy the family and children. But in March of 2007 I learned that I had been dead wrong about the influence and harassment of evil in my marriage and my children. My family suffered through months of harassment because I did not know we were at war and I did not even load nor aim my spiritual weapons in the right direction.

My mentor in this new adventure has been Dr. Ed Laymance who lives in Arlington, Texas. He not only opened my eyes to what was happening to my oldest son, Cole, but he taught me what to do about it in a balanced and ground-breaking way. I’ve been training and teaching on the subject ever since my own family was set free and now I am thrilled to announce a powerful new resource that will open your eyes to the battle waging against your marriage and family and the tools you need to win.

Included in this special CD-ROM are three important files.  The first is a sermon I recorded that outlines a healthy and balanced view of spiritual warfare and how my son, Cole, was being harassed and what I did to help him break free (and myself as well). The second resource is easily the most powerful spiritual exercise I have ever done! Dr. Laymance has developed a spiritual exercise called “Exposing the Hidden Agenda”. This one exercise completely changed my life forever and has helped many couples and families since Dr. Laymance shared it with me. The third item on the CD-ROM (or if you buy it online it is a downloadable eProduct) is a 77 page eBook by Dr. Laymance that goes in to more detail about spiritual warfare, its impact on your life, and the keys to living in freedom.

I had to post about this possible reuniting.  I am obviously not close to the situation, but if you’ve seen the battered picture of Rihanna, then you might be disappointed as well. I obviously do not have all the facts, but from the look of things I am concerned about their possible reuniting.

Ladies! You are far too valuable to ever be abused in any way, shape, or form.  Never forget your intrinsic value for simply being you and stand up for yourself.  You do not need any man, no matter what he tells you, if you are being abused.  You are risking your life by not holding men accountable for their actions against you.

If you have a friend who is dealing with abuse, you may have to let her borrow some of your strength to get out of the situation.  Lend a hand, help her recognize how incredibly valuable she is, and get her out of the situation.

People.com reports that Rihanna and Chris Brown are spending the weekend in Miami, discussing reconciliation.

The pair reportedly are staying at a home owned by Sean “Diddy” Combs on Miami Beach’s Star Island, are staying indoors as they hash things out.

“They are definitely together and care a great deal about each other,” a Miami source tells People. “They feel like staying in and working through their issues. So far they have not wanted to go out.”

Brown, however, hit the water to Jet Ski with pals.

Rihanna and Brown’s reconciliation comes nearly three weeks after Brown, 19, was accused of battering the Umbrella singer on Feb. 8.

Despite scandal, Rihanna and Chris Brown may reunite | Entertainment | Chron.com – Houston Chronicle

The above photo is Rihanna’s photo taken shortly after her beating.  The below photograph is of Rihanna – untouched.

I asked my wife, Amy, just seconds ago about what she would blog about in the next 20 minutes while we are waiting to board our plane to Mobile, Alabama. Her answer was to explain the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation! Now I am not sure how much I can do in 15-20 minutes, but I am going to give it a shot.

First off, the two are different. It is important to understand that forgiveness and reconciliation are different, they both contain similar elements, but it is their endings that make the difference.

I forgive someone because they sinned against me in some way. But my forgiveness is for me and not necessarily for the person who hurt me. Forgiveness is about me not allowing what happened to me to control me any longer, it is about releasing the offense and freeing myself to go on with my life. It is not about forgetting or accepting what has happened to me. That is not possible unless I go through some brain surgery or injury to erase the memory. Just because I might forgive someone, it does not mean that I will ever have a relationship with them.

Reconciliation is about repairing the relationship, so this means that whoever hurt me must do something to repair the damage to our relationship and rebuild my trust. Where forgiveness only takes one person, reconciliation takes two people. I can reconcile with you after I’ve forgiven you and when my hurt has been validated.

In forgiveness- the ending is about me. In reconciliation- the ending is about us.

If God did not want us to have fun with sex, then why on earth would He give us so many wonderful nerve endings at our sexual parts? Sex is to be another way to serve our mate, and we can be as creative as we want when it comes to satisfying our spouse sexually. So have fun and talk with each other about new and creative things you’d like to try sexually. We actually have a great resource on sexual intimacy (The Secret to Sexual Intimacy), it’s a DVD session and CD-ROM that has a special His and Her folder with creative ideas for pleasuring each other. It is totally clean and appropriate, but it is packed with lots of fun ideas.

If I am honest, I would have posted this video had it been my David. I think it was innocent and harmless to the child. Maybe I would not post something like this if my kid was in Junior High or High School, or at least I would have gotten his or her permission before posting it. But at David’s age, I can not see him being embarrassed or ridiculed for this video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I came across this article in the Wall Street Journal and it truly upset me:

On Sunday night, actress Marisa Tomei could take home an Academy Award for her portrayal of a kind-hearted stripper in the critically acclaimed film “The Wrestler.” In a tradition that dates as far back as the Oscar show itself, Ms. Tomei is the latest actress to win Hollywood acclaim for playing a character with a job in the sex industry, such as a striptease artist or streetwalker.

Four years ago, Natalie Portman was nominated for playing a young stripper in Mike Nichols’s steamy drama “Closer,” and just a year earlier Charlize Theron won an Oscar for her role as a real-life prostitute-turned-serial killer (in “Monster”). In the decade before that, Elisabeth Shue, Mira Sorvino and Julia Roberts all became Oscar nominees (or winners) for playing women who sell their bodies but guard their hearts — one of Hollywood’s longtime fascinations.

Taking the job was a no-brainer for Ms. Tomei, who hopes her performance will help her land leading roles in future films. “When I was offered the part, I was told it was going to be emotionally taxing — but those things to an actor are sweet sounds. I’ve always felt that there was such strong creative expression in [pole] dancing, even if it’s deemed low-brow entertainment,” says Ms. Tomei, who wore little more than a G-string in several scenes in the movie. (you can read the rest here)

Why does Hollywood want to normalize hurtful behavior?  They constantly attack our minds, our children, our values by shoving their own agenda down our virtual throats! Stripping is not cool, fabulous, fancy, funky, or anything any other non-negative word.  It is hurtful, harmful, damaging, and a disgusting abuse on women.  Hollywood will try to “sex” it up but I promise you, if you were to meet and have an honest discussion with a stripper, you are not going to hear a glamorous story.

We need to be vigilant about guarding the minds and the hearts of our children against Hollywood’s attack on our moral values.  Do not panic when Hollywood tries to shove their agenda in to the minds of your children.  Use it against them by addressing it head on with honesty.  Let their gross understanding of life be your opportunity to teach your children what God says about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

If your spouse gets upset because of something you did (or sometimes something you did not do) then all you have to do to legitemately calms things down, and literally suck the negative energy out of the conflict, is to validate.  What does it mean to validate?  My wife Amy has one of the greatest quotes on validation I’ve ever heard, “I love you more than proving myself right or proving you wrong.”  I have to give her the credit for that one!

Validation has nothing to do with facts, who’s right and who’s wrong, but rather validation is all about the feelings.  Feelings are never right or wrong, they just are.  If you have ever had your feelings hurt or experienced a negative emotion with someone, what do you want?  Ultimately you want to be validate that you are hurting and from that point on it can vary widely on  what needs to happen to ultimately repair the damage.  But the first thing people want is to simply be heard and validated for their experience.

If you want to instantly stop a fight and destroy the negative emotions, all you have to do is validate your spouse.  Let him know you understand and can see how you hurt him.  Let her know that what she is feeling is real.  If you go to facts (instead of validation) the argument will get worse and more ugly.  If you go toward validation, things will calm down immediately and you two will be able to have a rational discussion about whatever the conflict was about.

If you want to have a great Valentine’s Day, then please (I beg you) listen to the only advice you need to hear.  Keep your Valentine’s Day sacred.  What does this mean?  It means that when you wake up tomorrow morning together, all you need to say to each other is, “Happy Valentine’s Day honey, so let’s make this day awesome by not arguing or getting in to conflict.”

You can work with the wording to make it your own, but the principle needs to stay the same.  The greatest gift you can give each other on Valentine’s Day is the gift of grace and patience.  Do not allow yourselves to get into any kind of conflict.  Just call a time-out and tell each other that you will resolve whatever happened the next day, but for V-D day, you will simply choose to have fun.

Do not ruin Valentine’s Day by arguing and getting in to a fight! Just say no to conflict and choose to smile and give allowances for each other’s faults.

There are five acts of love that will totally rock your marriage!  They might sound kind of cliche at first, but stay with me because if you and your spouse will implement these five things in to your marriage you will never stop thanking me for this post!

You see, when people first get married they simply believe that their love is true and their love will last.  But as many suffer through the effects of divorce, this belief is obviously not enough to keep the marriage healthy and thriving.  No matter how you start off in your marriage, happy, sad, thriving, or stumbling through the gate, every couple has to learn these five acts of love if they are going to remain happy.

ACT ONE – HAVE FUN TOGETHER

I know this first act seems a tad obvious, but ask yourself this (especially if you are stressed out in your marriage), when is the last time you just went out together and had fun? Been a while hasn’t it.  Kids, the economy, the fact that you don’t like each other are all forces working against you simply going out and having fun.  But do not (absolutely refuse) allow these factors to keep you from having fun together!

Pick a night of the week you can designate as fun time for your marriage. Keep this night sacred.  Do not give yourself excuses to miss this night and do not allow yourself to have conflict on this night.  If something happens during the evening and you get your feelings hurt, save the discussion for later when you return home.  If it is still an issue for you, then you can have a calm discussion about the problem, but just not on your date.

ACT TWO – JOIN A SMALL GROUP TOGETHER

One of the best predictors of health for a couple is whether or not they are actively involved in a small group or Sunday school class with other couples.  Whenever I do a Marriage Restoration intensive I make sure and have the couple agree to joining a small group if they are not already involved in one (most of them are not, which is not surprising).

Small groups provide support, encouragement, and accountability.  These are all things that help encourage you to be healthy and out of conflict.

ACT THREE – LEARN TO RESOLVE CONFLICT

Do you know how to resolve conflict? Probably not, and believe me when I write, most people do not know how to resolve conflict when they get married.  Conflict resolution is not a natural skill, in fact, we are more naturally prone to mess up conflict resolution!

We teach a communication skill called LUV Talk, you can learn more about this through our Embrace audio series and the DNA of Relationships DVD series.  If books are more your style, then check out The Marriage You’ve Always Dreamed of and More Than a Match.

ACT FOUR – KEEP FUN TIME SACRED

And no, this act is not the same as act one, but it does compliment act one quite nicely.  Dr. John Gottman says that couples who are happily married have a 5 to 1 positive experience to every negative experience together.  So one of the smartest things you will ever do for your marriage is keep fun time sacred.  What does this mean you ask? It means that you do not argue or mess up fun time if one of your buttons gets pushed.  You simply call a time-out and agree to discuss whatever came up later at home or after the vacation is over.  Do not ruin a perfectly good date night be getting in to conflict. You will start noticing that some of the things you get all worked up over end up not being that big of a deal by the time you get home.

ACT FIVE – GIVE ALLOWANCES FOR EACH OTHER’S FAULTS

Your spouse is not perfect, and the big secret is, neither are you! So relax a little bit when your spouse makes a mistake.  Giving allowances for each other’s faults is like giving your spouse a present they did not ask for, but are blown away by.  The more we can take a deep breath and relax with our spouse, the more we will create an environment our spouse actually enjoys.  The more our spouse enjoys our company, the better our marriage is going to be.

I hope you take each of these five recommendations to heart and implement them in to your marriage.  Great marriages do not just magically happen, they are the result of your own hard work.

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn’t possible.

He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn’t afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet
her children. She had an older daughter Jessie, who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, Zachary in a wheelchair. He was born a
paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us?” Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities – just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary – - – he had a different mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted Jessie and Zachary. Since then Brenda and Kurtis have added five children of their own: sons Elijah and Kade, daughter Jada, and twin girls Sierra Rose and Sienna Rae.

So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl? Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl. Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person. Both Brenda and Kurt are active born-again Christians.

It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NLF’s Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player.

The picture above was taken Feb. 12, 2005 while, then, New York quarterback Kurt Warner, and his wife Brenda Warner, listen as they are explained the medical capabilities of the Military Sealift Command (MSC) hospital ship USNS Mercy (T-AH 19) as they visit an injured Indonesian boy. Warner and his,then, teammate, Giants wide receiver Amani Toomer, visited the crew and patients aboard the hospital ship. Mercy was off the waters of Indonesia in support of Operation Unified Assistance, the humanitarian relief effort to aid the victims of the tsunami that struck Southeast Asia.

IF YOU, AS I DO, THINK THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY, PASS IT ON.