I came across this research article the other day and thought it was very interesting in terms of how fast food has affected our ability to be patient, which seems to be a major theme for me right now in working with couples:

April 15, 2010 — Despite saving us time, fast food may make us impatient and more likely to seek instant gratification, new research finds.

University of Toronto researchers Chen-Bo Zhong, PhD, and Sanford E. DeVoe, PhD, conducted a trio of experiments before coming to that conclusion in a report published in Psychological Science.

The first experiment found that exposure to fast-food symbols increases reading speed even when there’s no pressure to read fast. In the experiment, they randomly assigned 57 college students to look at the center of a computer screen but ignore the corners. Those in the fast-food group were exposed to fast-food logos, flashed in the corners too quickly for the conscious mind to register the images. Those in the comparison group looked at blank squares in the corners. Next, when they all read a passage, those exposed to the logos had a faster reading speed.

You can read the whole article here.

Amy and I are getting the rights back to our first book, Don’t Date Naked: put on the full armor of God in your dating relationships! We are going to start self publishing this book now and want to freshen it up a little bit with a new title and cover design (as well as important new content for the book).  So what do you think would make for a new good title for a dating book?

The basic premise of our book is that you don’t have to kiss dating goodbye, in fact, if you learn how to honor God, others, and yourself then you can actually have a great dating experience that prepares you very well for marriage!  We take a pro dating stance in our book and then help young adults learn how to set up the right boundaries to keep themselves safe and protected while dating.

Here’s the chapters:

1. Let’s Hear It for Dating
2. Making a List and Checking It Twice
3. It’s All in Your Personality
4. Dating 101
5. Sex and the City
6. Staying Safe While Dating
7. Keeping Emotional Boundaries
8. What If Mr. or Ms. Right Turns Out to Be All Wrong?

As you can see the book is very applicable and straightforward. I think the best feedback we’ve been given over the years is that people really appreciate our openness and honesty. Amy and I are very transparent in the book and do not take a position of talking down to young adults, but rather, we respect them and believe they can make healthy choices in their dating relationships if they are given the chance.

The reason behind wanting a new title is that the church, in general, wasn’t ready for a Christian book to have the word “naked” in the title.  I was a bit ahead of the curve on that one =]  The book still did extremely well, and has been in print since 2003.  But now we get a chance to spruce things up, expand and deliberate on what we’ve learned since initially writing the book and put a new cover on it as well.

So let us know what you think would be a great title for the book.  If a title is chosen, the winner can have the choice of whatever they want from our online store (one item only) and of course a signed copy of the new look book!

Michael and I are heart-broken over the lost lives in Haiti. I’m writing this article for accountability and prayer. Our family wants to care for the orphans and widows in Haiti. We are not sure what this looks like yet, but we know our first step is getting our paper work and training done to become a foster family.

I would like to challenge all of us to find a way to help Haiti that fits your family. We’ve opened our home to big sisters before, now we’re feeling the urgency from the Holy Spirit to DO SOMETHING. I hope we have the pleasure of being used by God in this way. We are looking for direction and are open to many possibilities. I think it’s hard to even ask for prayers for us when they are needed for survival in Haiti- but as you are praying for Haiti- pray for clear direction and movement of supplies and care. God is good – even in disaster! I pray we can live a life worthy of our calling.

What is God challenging you with for 2010. I’ve been challenged in two powerful ways, watch and find out.

I’m in Atlanta this morning getting ready for the second day of our Renew 2.0 conference at our old friend’s church, Conyers First Baptist.  Fox News this morning actually did a story on a “quarter-life crisis”!  Seriously, it’s enough that we have a mid-life crisis, but now socialiogists are saying kids in their 20′s are having quarter-life crises!  Stop it!

There’s even a website for young people suffering the effects of a quarter-life crisis (http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com):

QLC FAQs
• Q: What is a quarterlife crisis?
• A: The quarterlife crisis, or QLC, is essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.

• Q: Who coined the phrase “quarterlife crisis?”
• A: Abby Wilner, co-author of Quarterlife Crisis and Quarterlifer’s Companion, coined the phrase in 1997 after she graduated from college, moved back home, and couldn’t figure out what to do with her life.

• Q: What makes the QLC unique for twentysomethings today?
• A: Essentially, it is taking longer to become an adult today based on traditional markers such as financial independence and starting a family. The average American job hops 8 times before the age of 32, the average college graduate accrues $20,000 in education loan debt, and the average age to get married is now 27.

Here’s my advice for 20-somethings, grow up.  The site talks about how these young kids are feeling it is taking longer to grow up, who’s fault is that?  Maybe they should spend less time focusing on a quarter-life crisis and more time choosing to mature.  I do not want this to sound harsh, but since I’m feeling the need to write those words, I must be feeling like I’m being too harsh.  But the story really caught me off guard this morning.

It just feels like society is looking for labels and things to blame for our own choices in life.  We all need to take control over our lives and make the kind of decisions that improves our lives and the lives of others.  What do you think?

I was trying to help my youngest child, David, with his spelling and I just thought that the bonus words were slightly more difficult than his level.

Our next book is titled, A Simple Solution to a Happy Marriage, and we will be previewing the book for you for the next six weeks! Each week on Tuesday and Thursday we will post a new chapter from our book coming out with Focus on the Family. Our hope is that you find the posts helpful to increasing your marital satisfaction and we also hope you help us make the book even better. So any feedback or comments you leave will be greatly appreciated.

We want this book to rock your marriage. One of my initial titles was, The Greatest Advice No One Wants to Hear, but that title got eliminated because Amy and the publisher thought it was too negative. But the point is still true. This book has the chance to radically change your marriage for the better – if you allow it to!

How great is a diet that allows you to start off with eating as much fat and crud as you possibly can in a two day period!  The days were very fun.  I had all my favorite things of the past like Chic-fil-a chicken minis, BBQ, and at dinner I pounded down one of my favorite pasta dishes of all time – the Pasta Da Vinci at the Cheesecake Factory.  I though these two days would be filled with fun and old memories.  But one of the things that really got me thinking was that the two fat loading days of this diet were really no different than any other day for the last 2 years!  I got a tad discouraged thinking about just how out-of-control my eating had gotten.

It’s funny to me that previously, before this two-day binge, I had not been bothered by how much I was eating.  I was bothered to be overweight, but that did not stop me from eating enormous amounts of food.  My strategy was to sneak around and try to eat as much as I could. I’d stop at gas stations, doughnut places, restaurants, etc. just to feed my ridiculous “need” for food.  I tried to be sneaky about it, which, really makes me laugh because there’s no real “sneaky” way to hide 87 pounds of extra weight!  But my mind was convinced that I was doing a good job, and so I pressed on.

There is a very real biblical application here, at least it just dawned on me.  One of the things Jesus asks of us is to reveal our wounds and brokenness to him.  Jesus wants access to our inner most struggle and pain.  So we have to drag that stuff out in to the light.  Satan wants us to keep our pain and suffering secret, because in the darkness of our soul, Satan can wreak havoc over our lives.  These past two days of fat loading were the first days in a long time that I was completely open and honest with Amy about what I was eating.  There were no secrets or sneaking around.  It was right out there in her face and the face of my small community.  Everybody knew that I was gorging myself and this felt different to me.

It was like I finally dragged out my unhealthy eating habit in to the light and Jesus took one look and said, “My son, I know your pain and I’m so sorry you’re suffering like this.”  I get tears to my eyes even writing this down.  My eating was out in the open for all to see, especially Jesus.  I didn’t like it.  My fat loading days were not as fun as I thought they were going to be.  In fact, by the afternoon of the second day, I did not want to keep eating.  It was like something inside of me died to food and I just wanted to eat something healthy.  I actually started looking forward to starting the healthy eating portion of the diet!  What a miracle that was!