I have been to Florida and Arizona in the last two weeks and was extremely nervous that I would gain weight.  It almost feels impossible to keep on track with my life style revolution when traveling.  But, I weighed after both trips and lost a total of three pounds during the trips!  What an amazing accomplishment for me!  Yeah me! Sorry for getting overly excited for myself, but the trips were a major source of stress for me about eating healthy, and I basically did it and did not gain but lost weight!

I have not posted for a while about my weight journey, but the good news is, it’s not because I’ve gotten in trouble!  I was on vacation in Marco Island, Florida with the whole Smalley clan.  Vacation was extremely nerve wracking for me.  If you have ever had a weight issue, then you know why.  My fear was that I would get out of control and gain 5 or more pounds and then spiral out of control from there.  But I ended up losing 1 pound during the four day trip!  I’m pretty sure I’ve never lost weight on a vacation, so things are still headed in the right direction!

For almost all of my life I have hated fish.  This has to change because I know how important fish is to healthy living.  You don’t have to be a diet expert to know why you want to eat fish.  So for the love of all things healthy, I made Tilapia last night!  I can honestly say that I absolutely loved the fish.  It probably had something to do with the fact that I was totally hungry when the dinner was ready, but I still loved it!  All I did was cook this fish on the skillet and seasoned it with sea salt and fresh ground black pepper.  I used no oils or anything on the fish and I must say that it was awesome as well!  I might have even liked this better than the steak the previous meal.

On a side note, my son David (who is only 7) greeted me in the morning with a huge smile on his face.  He jumped up off the couch and gave me a big hug and said, “Daddy, you look great! You must have lost 175 pounds already!”  That was encouraging in two ways.  One, my son feeling the need to compliment me because he can feel the struggle I’m in to be healthy, and then for him to follow through and encourage me was fantastic.  Two, thank the Lord I don’t have 175 pounds to lose!

A photo of my first home cooked healthy meal!  This was thinly sliced lean fat steak with spicy herbs cooked on a skillet.  It is on top of spinach and then dripped with Walden Farms Ranch (Which apparently doesn’t exist because when you look at the nutrients, it has 0 fat, 0 calories, and 0 life but it still tastes awesome!).  This meal was really good and the spiciness of the meat was comforting, like I wasn’t eating less and was back at a restaurant eating like crap again

If you want to cook thinly sliced steak on the skillet, only cook for about 1 minute per side.  Things are going well, but I’m still getting pretty ill in the evening from withdraw from all the junk my body has been used to.

I just got back from picking up Reagan at her friend’s house.  This was a touch moment for me because up until last week, I used to use the opportunity of driving alone to cheat at gas stations and other various places.  When Amy asked me to go get Reagan, I felt the need to tell her how this was hard for me.  What is so great about my wife is her ability to validate and understand my junk.  She’s unbelievable at loving me where I’m at.

As I got in the car to start driving to the friend’s home, I was silently praying to myself for character and strength to keep the drive free from “cheating”.  The car turned on and I wasn’t fully paying attention to the song.  But as I started getting further and further away from my house I was feeling more and more tempted to want and stop somewhere.  Then all of a sudden I finally tuned in to the song playing in the background on XM’s channel The Message.  The song was titled, “I Need You”, and it was by Jars of Clay.  I’m copying the chorus of this song so you can read for yourself how perfect the song was for what I was struggling with at the moment:

I need you, I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you, I need you
(All I’m living for)
I need you, I need you, I need you
You’re all I’m living for
All I’m living for
You’re all I’m living for

The song put me right at ease.  The chorus was completely perfect for what I needed at the moment.  I am trusting that God will continue pouring in to me throughout this journey in ever more creative ways.  If you want to read the rest of the lyrics, here they are:

“I Need You”

[verse]
Strangely out of place
There’s a light filling this room
Where none would follow before
I can’t deny it burns me up inside
I fan the flames to melt
Away my pride
Do I want shelter from the rain
Or the rain to wash me way?

[chorus]
I need you, I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you, I need you
You’re all I’m living for

[verse]
I might sound like a fool
But I think I felt you moving
Closer to me
Face to the ground
To hide the fatal cut
I fight the weight
I feel you lift me up
You are the shelter from the rain
And the rain to wash me away

[chorus]
I need you, I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you, I need you
(All I’m living for)
I need you, I need you, I need you
You’re all I’m living for
All I’m living for
You’re all I’m living for

[bridge]
Face to the ground
To hide the fatal cut
I fight the weight
Feel you lift me up
Can’t deny it burns me up inside
I fan the flames to melt away
My pride
Only had a second to spare
But all the time in the world
To know you’re there
You are the shelter from the rain
And the rain to wash me away

[chorus]
I need you, I need you, I need you
(All I’m living for)
I need you, I need you, I need you
(All I’m living for)
& I need you, I need you, I need you
You’re all I’m living for
All I’m living for
All I’m living for
All I’m living for
You’re all I’m living for

Amen.

My first day eating less and eating healthy.  I was nervous to start, but like I said in my fat loading post, I was ready as well.  The day went pretty good until about 5pm, and that is when the withdrawls kicked in!

Whoa!

I don’t think I realized just how dependent my body was on sugar and junk food.  I didn’t even really feel the sickness coming on until my headache grew to a migraine like pain.  It was horrible.  Not enough to make me quit and cheat on the diet, but pretty stinking close.  The headache kept me awake till almost midnight.  At one point I couldn’t get comfortable in bed, on the couch, or anywhere.  So I walked the halls of my house praying.

Praying is a new thing for me while on a diet as well.  Prayer has so far been incredibly important to me.  Every negative thought that enters my brain is now challenged with an opposite truth from scripture.  My prayer now is to keep consistent with prayer.  I have proven for many years that I can not do this on my own, so I will pray this time and keep strong in my faith that Jesus wants the best for my health and will give me what I need to make it through to a healthier lifestyle.